HL: Defining Shikan

 Episode Name:  HL: Defining Shikan

   Written By:  Fortunae

         Cast:  Fortunae, Takamura and The Inquisitor.

  Produced By:  Starfleet

  Directed By:  Fortunae

     Aired On:  Tue Mar 09 05:12:04 2004

     Stardate:  53932.9

Time: Mon Mar 08 23:19:29 2004

Stardate: 53932.3

Previously, on Star Trek: Anomaly

...Groaning, Takamura blinks blood out of his eyes. He reaches down to the large weapon that just reminded him of its presence. Now that his teammates are clear, he has no qualms about opening up on the monstrosity that has caused Golden and Turtledove to go over the edge. "NOOOOO! Let's see how you like some of this, you overgrown spider!" And with a squeeze of the trigger, Takamura unleashes the fury of his mounted phaser...

... The Intendent whips it's head back toward Takamura as the primate hoots and jeers more of it's monkey-talk at him, there is a pinpricking of light in its numerous eyes as the much larger weapon belches forth -- manibles stretch again in outrage -- then two thick beams impale it and send it tumbling backward along the surface of the walkway -- resulting in Takamura easily making out the other robed creatures approaching from the north lead by two larger figures in green carapace looking armor inset with golden gleaming metallic plates and bearing wicked looking lances with tips that seem to have energy weapons inset into them. The lead armored Iconian challanges by leveling it's own weapon and calling, "Gsssshearasha! ffLeelshnatha gothathasha!"...

...Takamura hears the screams below, which only fortifies his resolve. Now faced with multiple opponents, he sweeps the platform with his fire, aiming primarily at the two armored foes from left to right...

... Even as Takamura unleashes his focused fury in response to the Iconian Guard's challenge, his weapon begins to whine, a sound from the dorsal barrel, perhaps all that crashing into things has come back to haunt the Heavy Weapon's fighter. The challenged stands firm, both shots going wide as Hiroshi walks the dog across the path, the second challenger is not as fortune, taking a full blast in the chest. His armor flashes like a starship shield being struck by a low powered vessel weapon... he then lowers his lance and howls a response that sounds like a tornado shrieking between buildings, his lance flashing as he comes -- the other wastes no time in following suit...

...The Iconain Guards charge in with their lances, but Takamura's reflexes have come back to him. Using his now defective phaser as melee weapon, the neo-Samurai parries the first lance. He then swings the weapon on its articulated arm into the head of the guard on his left. While out of position like this, the guard on the right takes advantage of the opportunity to jab Takamura in the ribs. The lance discharges into his body causing him to convulse uncontrolably. The heavy weapon falls limply at his side as he roars out in agony...

... As Takamura thrashes in agony the Iconians loom above him, and the second Temple Guard jabs his own lance into the downed primate -- blackness follows...

And now, on Star Trek: Anomaly ...

197,725 B.C.E.

Hiroshi Takamura snaps awake awash with cold, white light. So much light that his eyes wince naturally in the face of it, until, eventually, he is able to filter out the vague impression of walls and the vague feeling of being surrounded by water. There is no sign of the source of all of this light, and yet, he feels no urge to seek the answer either. And, aware of this odd lack of curiosity, he still finds no motive to move from right where he is. A vague buzzing sound haunts the edge of his subconscious awareness. Somewhere, there is the crackle of what may be a fire, but he sees none, and smells no smoke.

Time passes. The sound of faint steps upon water, not quite splashes, reaches him. Then, from the nimbus of omnidirectional luminescence, a figure emerges -- an Iconian with a ghastly pale fleshed skull; a skull covered with ritual scarification and inexplicable jagged shards of precious metals dangling from it, some still oozing an ochre strand of fluid on occassion as it moves closer.

It regards him, perhaps studiously.

Takamura narrows his eyes, trying to focus on what ever is coming his way when he hears the footsteps. When the pale Iconian approaches, his eyes widen at teh horrific figure moving towards him.

The Inquisitor says, "You will find that the Chok'los" translator worm "has settled into your primate neural stem by now allowing you the honor of comprehending my words and speaking with a civilized tongue. You will inform this one of your full name. If you refuse there will be punishment."

Takamura inhales deeply as the Iconian addresses him. After a few moments, he replies proudly. "I am Hiroshi Takamura."

. o O Takamura thinks "Alright, I don't know what's about to happen, but I need to prepare myself for the worst."

In Takamura's head, . o O "If the truth is the worst that can happen to you, you should indeed prepare."

The Inquisitor steps closer. Then closer still. Invading Hiroshi's comfort zone but not touching him. "What is your function, Hhiroshhi Thachah'mmmahtha?"

Takamura narrows his eyes again, appraising the looming figure above him. "I am a soldier."

. o O Takamura thinks "A wise man once said that the truth can set you free."

The Inquisitor turns it's head swiftly, the pierced bits of decorative metal swinging due to the motion. Lies are the prison and truth the only key, the truth shall set you free. The Inquisitor's middle left hand slaps Takamura across the face, open palmed, stinging and sharp. "Soldiering is your occupation. What is your function?"

Takamura's head rocks to the side from the blow. Slowly, he rolls his head to face his inquisitor again. "I defend the citizen's of the United Federation of Planets from those who would harm them."

The Inquisitor nods, accepting this response for now. "Including yourself?"

Takamura nods in reply. "Yes, I defend myself as well. I am a Federation citizen as well."

The Inquisitor releases a huffing laugh, mandibles shaking and arms shaking. "I meant do you defend them from yourself when you number those who would harm them?"

Takamura smirks back at him. "I don't harm them, so I wouldn't have to defend them from myself."

The manidibles flash and snap at this, and the Iconian flows right up against the human, breath now close in his ear. "I thought we agreed this was going to be about truth, and yet you lie. You hurt people of your Federation every day... you've been hurting people your entire life... you might even consider it your career... remember..."

The buzzing increases in Hiroshi's mind, drowning out all other sound, all other sensations -- he feels the buzzing burrowing deeper into his mind, dragging him along -- and he is not alone...

November 12th, 2359

There is a breeze, it ruffles my hair. The air is cold as a take a deep breath. I see the mountains all around me, covered in snow. When I turn, there is my older sister. I call out to her, my breath making a small vapor cloud, "Hurry up, Kishi! We're almost to the lookout."

The teenaged girl in a knit cap and warm jacket cautiously works her way up the snowy trail. With a huff, she pauses near where I am standing. "Roshi, you need to slow down. The trail is slippery."

Rolling my eyes, I sigh at her with another puff of vapor. "Ah, you don't know how to have fun. The trail isn't that bad. Besides, I know this trail like the back of my hand." I don't know why she worries so much. We've climbed this trail more times than I can remember. And I've never gotten hurt before.

"That might be. But you still need to be careful." Kishi looks at me with some concern while she catches her breath. I swear. She can never keep up. She's such a slow poke. And she's always trying to keep me back. But not this time.

With a mischievous grin, I chuckle at her before scampering off further up the trail. As I get closer to the lookout, the trail gets steeper and makes a few switchbacks. After a few minutes of climbing, I pause to wait for my pokey sister. Glancing at the peaks around me, I spot an eagle soaring above us. Oh, to be as free as that eagle. Flying around without a care in the world. Looking down at the world below him. I wonder what it's like to fly like that. Or up in space. My Dad knows what is like to be in orbit around the Earth. Or some strange new world. So high up that you can't make out the people and all you see are the mountains, the rivers and the oceans. Maybe I can do that some day.

"Oh good. You waited for me. That's very nice of you little brother." Darn. She snapped me out of my dream. Grrr. Why can't she leave me alone for a change? And what does she mean little brother. I'm bigger than she is. And I'm only twelve. Bah.

197,725 B.C.E.

The Inquisitor says, "Remember her concern for your choices -- your arrogance? You were biggers you must be right. Now you're a Soldier enforcer defending everyone else the weaklings from the big bad universe lying to protect them. Which is your function? To defend them, or decide what is best for them, Hhiroshhi Thachah'mmmahtha?"

Takamura blinks at the vividness of the memory. His gaze hardens at the Iconian. "I was just a boy. I felt invincible back then, like nothing could hurt me. I thought she was trying to overprotect me. Now, I know she was trying to keep me safe because she loves me." Another deep breath and slow exhalation. "Everyone else is not a weakling. I just happen to be in the right place at the right time to help keep them safe. I don't decide what is best for them."

The Inquisitor says, "Lies!" The Iconian thoughtfully slaps Takamura on the other cheek as it steps around to face him. "We aren't going to make much progress if you insist on lying." To yourself "You accepted the title of Soldier and Defender -- do those you fight consider your violence what is best for them? You certainly decide to use it on them." And you enjoy being good at it. "Do you not have a commission?" License to decide "Do you not give orders?" Bending others to your decision. "Face the reality, Hhiroshhi Thachah'mmmahtha, you decide what you think is best for others constantly." Drop your weapon or I'll shoot. "Soldier, Defender... euphemisms. Let us go back, what is your Function?"

Takamura scrutinizes the pale face challenging him. "And you enjoy twisting my words around. You have a response for everything I say. No matter what I say, you will not be satisfied until you bend me to /your/ will. I have given you my answer."

The Inquisitor says, "I ask for the truth, have you decided have something to fear from the truth after all?"

Takamura takes another slow breath. "I do not fear the truth. If you already have the answers, then why do you ask the questions? Why not instead share this great wisdom with me? Because apparently, you think you know me better than I know myself."

The Inquisitor says, "Truth is found more often in the answering, then in the facts. It is in considering them that meaning is found. What you know, I know, what I discover, you discover. It is a process. We both learn from it." The Iconian strokes Hiroshi's cheek, softly like a mother. "I am not the one afraid to face the truth. What vestment do I have in maintaining the lies you hold before your eyes? You say you are a soldier. You say you are a defender. I observe you inflict harm unto others, and you enjoy doing it in some cases. You claim you are not threat to the people of your Federation -- and we both know that is a lie. Will your bluster change those facts? Has it ever worked in the past, Hhiroshhi Thachah'mmmahtha? Why should it now?"

Takamura clenches his teeth at the smugness of the Iconian. "Sometimes I have to resort to violence, yes. Sometimes I succumb to my baser insticts and enjoy it. Does that make me less of a soldier or defender? No. It makes me human. We have our failings. We make mistakes and miscalculations. And we learn from them. Can I protect everyone? No. That is impossible. Some people will inevitably get hurt. Myself included. But you don't understand that. To you, everything is either black or white. The universe is not that simplistic."

The Inquisitor says, "So it's alright," acceptable margins "because you can't protect everyone? You're only human," declaritive inferiority to excuse your failures "you learn from your mistakes. How convenient for you to paint excuses in shades of grey. Does this make you less?" your own words imply this is so "To be human then is to make mistakes and learn from them. How very reassured your protectorate must be by this, Defender of the Federation. But you just happen to be in the right place at the right time to help keep them safe. You say your sister was not himverprotecting you, she loved you... let us see..."

November 12th, 2359

"I wasn't waiting for you. I was looking at the eagle up there." I point in the direction of the great bird gracefully floating among the clouds. "But since you're here, I guess I've stopped for too long." So, to keep my lead on her, I dash off again to catch my friend the eagle. While I'm running, I spread my arms out like wings to glide through the air. There's the lookout just ahead. I can really get a great view from up there. I speed up to get there faster. But. Hey! Wait! My feet. They must've hit a patch of ice. Oh no. No. Gotta try to catch myself. I try to grab onto something, anything. There's nothing to hold onto. So I fall and roll. And roll some more. The ground is spinning around me. I can't stop. Ow. My ankle. My head. Ahhh. That was a rock. "KISHI!!!" Finally, my body crashes to a halt. And then things get dark for a while.

All I can feel is throbbing pain. Something warm running down my face. "Nnnng." Oh the spirits, is it blood? It has to be. Oh boy, my parents are going to kill me. Slowly, I blink my eyes open. The light is bright reflecting off the snow. Then a shadow passes over me. Is this the end? I can't tell. My vision is blurry.

"Hiroshi. Wake up. Stay with me. Don't fall asleep." It's Kishi's voice. I never thought I'd be happy to hear that. Something warm is covering my chest and my legs seem to be propped up. "You took a bad tumble down the hill, Hiroshi. You've banged your head and I think you've twisted your ankle."

As she talks, I focus my eyes. She's covered me with her coat and is wrapping up my ankle. "It hurts, Kishi. And I feel so tired." It feels like it hurts all over at first. Then the pain moves to my head and ankle.

"I know it hurts. But, I need you to stay awake. Keep talking to me." She finishes with my leg then takes a bandage out of her backpack, wrapping it around my head. "Ok. I'm almost finished. Now, we're going to try to get you to stand up. And then we'll slowly walk down towards the Ranger station. It's not very far. But, I need you to help me. I need you to be strong. Can you do that, Hiroshi?"

Weakly, I nod my head, which makes it hurt more. "Yes. I can do that." Of course I can be strong. I'm stronger than she is. "But, I'm so sleepy. Can't I take a quick nap first?" A nap would be so nice right now. Even if the rocks aren't that comfortable.

"No." She says forcefully. "You can't take a nap. You might have a concussion and we have to get you to the doctor." Putting her coat back on and gathering her supplies, she looks back down at me tenderly. "Look Hiroshi. You're banged up pretty good and I'm worried about you. So, please let me help you." She extends her arms towards me. "C'mon. Let's get you up and down to the Ranger station. Then the doctors can fix you up. You'll be back on your skates in no time."

I reach up and grab her hands. Slowly, I climb to my feet. Owwww, that really hurts. I suck in a deep breath of cool air and steady myself on my good leg. I got to be strong. I got to be strong. I got to be strong. I can make it down the hill.

Once on my feet, Kishi strokes my cheek, wiping away some of the blood. Then she kisses it. "I love you, little brother. And everything will be all right." Taking my arm, she wraps it over her shoulder to support me.

I feel my cheeks flush a bit at her kiss. How can she love me? I've been so mean to her. I cause her trouble all the time. She could have left me here. And been rid of a pesky brother. But, she didn't. Faintly, I smile back at her. "Thank you." Adjusting my weight, I carefully walk alongside my big sister down the mountain to the Ranger station. All the while, I think about why she didn't leave me up on that trail.

197,725 B.C.E.

The Inquisitor says, "Is your function then to love the Federation and protect its citizens from danger because you know what is best for them like your sister knew what was best for you? And was that best for you? Had you not fallen, would you have learned the folly of your risk? Would you have known that she loved you? Would your life be better for the lack of that knowledge?"

Takamura winces at the pain in the memory, then smiles as he remembers fondly his sister's tenderness. However, his expression grows stone cold when the Inquisitor speaks again. "She's shown me love in more ways than I can count. I /would/ know that she loves me. Not just from one isolated incident. But, again you try to make one example fit all."

The Inquisitor says, "Of course, blame me" not yourself "human, it is the moment you realized your sister loved you, but I am the one trying to make one example fit all. You answered one question," poorly "and have neglected the others. Hhiroshhi Thachah'mmmahtha, it is only your time you waste with these evasions. Do better."

The Inquisitor settles lower, arms folded. He waits.

Takamura stares at the creature. "What is /your/ function? To harrass me and browbeat me with endless questions? If all you want is information, just pluck it out of my head like you've done with my memories."

The Inquisitor is uneffected. He waits.

Takamura quirks a brow at him, smirking. "So, it's alright if you don't answer my questions. But, I have to answer all of yours."

The Inquisitor is uneffected. He waits.

Takamura nods to himself, snorting out a breath and just stares straight up silently.

The Inquisitor is uneffected. He waits.

Takamura lies there motionless for several minutes, not giving the Iconian the satisfaction of an answer.

. o O Takamura thinks "I can wait as long as you can."

In Takamura's head, . o O"An assumption."

The Inquisitor remains still, waiting.

. o O Takamura thinks "I'm so tired of his attitude. His smugness."

Takamura says, "You won't leave me alone until I give you an answer. Just sit there and stare at me."

In Takamura's head, . o O "Is it smugness, or your projection due to your admitted sense of inferiority. You are only human, after all."

The Inquisitor in fact, sits there, and stares at the human.

Takamura laughs out loud. "What do you want to hear? That I decide the fate of Federation citizens with my actions? That I decide what is best for others? That I cause others pain and hurt and sorrow? There is truth to all those statements. But, is it the complete truth? No. It's not just my own decisions or actions. Everyone has a hand in their own future. Not just one person."

The Inquisitor inches closer, just enough to be noticeable, to give the feeling of encroachment.

The Inquisitor says, "You want me to tell you what I want to hear." You want me to tell you what to say?

Takamura cocks his head to the side with a lop-sided grin. "That is what this is all about, isn't it? What you want? You don't like my answers to your questions, so you just keep asking and twisting my responses until you hear what /you/ find acceptable."

The Inquisitor inches closer, further intruding into the illusion of personal space. Conversationally, the Inquisitor speaks, "It disturbs you to not understand. You are looking for a handle on this situation. Terms you can define it under." instructions "Once you understand you believe you can rise to the moment." do your duty "You say I twist" refine "your words" platitudes "until I hear what I find acceptable? I appreciate your sense of humor" you are kidding yourself "Hhiroshhi Thachah'mmmahtha, I am not the one twisting in search of meaning. I seek the truth that will set you free. You seek the cage to hide in."

Takamura takes several deep breaths, fire smoldering in his eyes. "I AM NOT A PAWN! You will not use me. I am tired of being used."

The Inquisitor laughs that dry, dust devil sound. "Lies!" The impact that follows is sharp and declaritive in itself and leaves the Iconian just that much closer to the human physically. "You enjoy being used. Your life revoles around being used. You are a pawn."

The Inquisitor says, "Not my pawn."

The Inquisitor says, "Not my game."

The Inquisitor says, "Samurai." One who serves "Bushido." The way you seek to serve. "Free of responsibility." Follow your orders. "Trust those above you." Your betters. "This keeps you alive... remember..."

December 29, 2369

"Claness! Take Dovoro, Takamura and Rodriguez and secure that bridge." A blue finger points over towards the edge of the battered village. Buildings crumble, spewing their rubble into the streets over the broken bodies of Bajoran citizens.

Ensign Kor barks out more orders to the others while Claness answers. "Aye aye, sir." Turning towards our small group, he continues. "Rodriguez take point. Takamura you're with me. Dovoro, you have drag. Keep your eyes peeled. We don't know if the Cardassians are still about."

I swallow hard as I check my phaser rifle for the third time. I can hear my heart beating in my ears as I start following behind the short Latino woman. I wipe my palm on my pant leg while my eyes dart from side to side. Everything will be fine. Just like in the training sims. Take a deep breath and calm yourself. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Chief Claness giving me a reassuring smile. It helps, but not enough. They always say that training sims are not the same as actual combat experience. I guess now I will find out.

197,725 B.C.E.

The Inquisitor says, "Just like the training sims, that's what you want. Familiar. Safe. Defined."

December 29, 2369

What's that noise? Is there movement behind that building? I can't tell. The Chief steps closer, speaking softly to me. "Calm down, Tak. You're a little too alert. Relax and remember your training." He pats my shoulder then slides back to his place in the formation. That's easy for him to say. He's been doing this for years. A real old salt. Nothing fazes him.

So, I take another deep breath, but it doesn't work. The sight of all the dead men, women and children unsettle me. I've never seen corpses before. Especially ones like these. Sure, I've seen simulations of casualties and been told to expect them. But, I never realized how gruesome it is up close. Who could do a thing like this? These Cardassians must be animals to treat civilians like this. Snap out of it Hiroshi. This isn't the time to be thinking about this. I have to pay attention. Can't let my crewmates down.

Ah, look. We're almost to the bridge now. The Chief is motioning for Rodriquez to move ahead and the rest of us to take covering positions. No problem. I'll watch Teresa's back anytime. When we get back to the Saratoga, maybe I'll ask her to dinner. It would be nice to really get to know her outside of a work setting.

A flash of light. Then the sound of energy weapons. I snap back to the here and now to see Teresa taking fire. Standing up, I aim in the direction of the attacker. I squeeze the trigger and fire blindly at the unseen assailant. My crewmates move into better positions, but I stay where I am, firing away.

Rodriquez crawls behind a rock. Dovoro tries to flank the enemy. As he does so, a green light lances out striking him in the chest. My eyes widen in disbelief as I continue to blaze away. They killed him. I have to get those sneaky monsters. The Chief pops out and hits the Cardassian that shot Dovoro, causing him to roll to the ground. Yeah! That's what you deserve.

197,725 B.C.E.

The Inquisitor says, "That's what they deserve? Why? Because that is what you were told? Or because you believed that the sum of their life, every lesson, every smile, every tear, every hope, every failure, every longing was so that your Chief could shoot them?"

Takamura closes his eyes, taking several controlled breaths. "They were the enemy. They repulsed me with the way they murdered those civilians. It was easier to think of them as monsters than as individuals. At least until you /do/ think about it."

The Inquisitor says, "Certainly. There is the enemy. Go and kill the enemy. Who is the enemy? Don't worry, we'll tell you who the enemy is. Trust us. Obey. Do. Duty. We have the answers. We give you purpose." Kill the enemy "We give you excuses," guilt free "we give you direction" kill the enemy "It's not murder." Its defense! "It's not evil." Soldiers must kill "You were raised for it. Generations of breeding for centuries and indoctrination. Faced with the horror of war your strongest impulse was to desire to be as good at it as the best you had seen.... remember..."

Peeking around the corner, Rodriquez snaps off a shot. But as she does so, another Cardie strikes her down. "NO!" I cry as I start running for her. Green beams pepper the ground around me. Then, something hits me. Wait. That's not a disruptor. It felt more like a body check. Crashing to the dirt with a thud, I find a big blue body on me. "Takamura, stay down. Are you trying to get yourself killed?" It's the Chief. He just saved my life. "Now, there are only two of them left. You stay here and cover me. I'm going to flank them. Understood?"

But, what about Teresa? And isn't that how they killed Dovoro? They're going to shot you too. And then, I'll be all alone. Silently, though, I manage to nod my head. Swallowing my heart back down into my chest, I grip my rifle and peek up from behind the wall we landed behind.

197,725 B.C.E.

The Inquisitor observes, "Then you'd be alone and there would be no one to tell you what to do. No one to serve. No one to let be responsible in your place.

December 29, 2369

Tapping his commbadge, the Chief speaks in calm tones. "Chief Claness to Ensign Kor. We've been ambushed near the bridge. We have two casualties and there are two hostiles left. Request assistance."

Over the commbadge I hear the other Andorian's voice. "Kor here. Acknowledged, Chief. Reinforcements are on the way."

I won't be alone after all. The others are on their way. Another bolt of disruptor fire strikes the wall. I duck back down, huddling against the wall. Definitely not the same as having pucks aimed at you. Glancing to the side, Claness is grinning at me. "It will be alright. The cavalry is on the way. Now on three, you pop up and lay down some cover fire as I make my way across to the other side of the street. This way we can provide protection for the reinforcements. One. Two. Three."

I can't believe it. He's still going over there. Gulping down a quick breath of air, I spring up again with a hail of phaser fire. The Chief dashes across the street and into cover. He made it. Unscathed even. And hey! I actually hit one of them. Once he crumples to the ground, the place gets eerily quiet. Maybe I got the other one too. Or maybe he decided to retreat. Either way, I'm glad the shooting has stopped.

Squatting back down, I lean my back against the wall to catch my breath. Adrenaline pumps through my body while I recover from my first firefight. Before I realize it, the reinforcements arrive. They quickly sweep the area and begin collecting our dead. Trembling, I can only watch mutely. Why did they have to die? Couldn't we have saved them? I could have been killed. But, the Chief saved me. For that, I'm indebted to him.

And as those thoughts cross my mind, whose shadow falls over me? The Chief's. He offers me a hand up then puts his arm around my shoulder. "Look, Tak, it's all over now. You did well. Let's get you back to the ship and checked out, alright?" Flashing another of his big grins, I actually feel a little better now. Safe and secure. Someday, I want to be like him.

197,725 B.C.E.

The Inquisitor says, "There is no remorse that you killed. There is no remorse that you supposedly had to kill. There is relief you are alive -- that you aren't alone -- and that you can still take orders. You want to be like him. Should I congratulate you? We both know you've surpassed his facility for lethality in the service of being in the service of something. So then, is that your Function?"

Takamura narrows his eyes at him, yet again. "You are wrong. I have felt remorse. I might not have felt it at that moment, but I have felt it." The large Asian casts his eyes down, then closes them. Softly, he continues. "Those deaths weigh on me everyday. It is a burden that I will have to carry to the grave. Nothing washes it away, only covers it up."

The Inquisitor inches closer still, intimately close. His breath now carasses the samurai's face even as the hands lightly almost brush limbs and joints. "How can I be wrong? There was no remorse at the time. Remorse that came later? That came because you were told there should be remorse." The words are soft, empathetic perhaps. "In the moment you were clean. Isn't that why they use you? In the moment you can do what your told you should." And later you feel what you are told you should feel. "You know this, so I know this. It is a burden you carry, but it is not really your burden. It is not a part of you." Samurai "Death is part of life." Life is part of death "You could have let them kill you." But you weren't ordered to die. "Could you have not volunteered?" you volunteered to fight "Could you have chosen a different path?" And denied what you are? "I know the answer, because you do. You put your false burden down... remember..."

August 3, 2371

A Bajoran child's face. Teresa's face. A Cardassian face. A Breen face. They're all staring at me with cold dead eyes. Accusing eyes. I can hear their voices. "Why did you do this to me? I should still be alive. But you killed me." Each time they speak it gets louder and more faces and voices join in. My fallen comrades. Enemies. Innocent victims we failed to save.

I try to close my eyes and cover my ears, but it doesn't work. They haunt me. Torture me. I turn to run, yelling at them. "Leave me alone! I did my best, but I can't bring you back. I was just doing my duty. Please! Leave me alone!" I run and I run. And they chase me. I can feel their icy hands about to grab me. "NO! NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"It's alright, Hiroshi." A calming voice. "It was just a nightmare." Mom's voice. I open my eyes to find myself sitting bolt upright. Beads of sweat collect on my brow. My heart pounds. Mom's hand rests gently on my shoulder. "It's alright. You're at home, safe and sound." She starts stroking my hair soothingly. "This is the third time you've had a nightmare since you've come home."

Taking deeps breaths, I slowly compose myself. Why can't I get these images out of my head? They just won't leave me alone. At least I'm home with Mom and Dad. Especially Mom. She's always good to me. "I know," I reply quietly. My head falls into my hands. "I'm haunted by all the carnage I've seen out there. I just can't shake it."

Sighing softly, Mom runs her fingers down my cheek. "Hmm. I have a suggestion that might help you, honey." She stands up, grasping my hands. "Come with me and I'll show you."

I swing my legs to the side and slide off the couch I was napping on, holding on to her hands. Where is she leading me? And what is she going to show me that will help get rid of these nightmares? I suppose I will find out soon enough.

She leads me through the house to her studio. "Hiroshi, please grab an easel and a canvas." While I get what she asked for, she gathers her paint and brushes. I have no why she wants to paint now. I thought she was going to help me.

Now she takes me out to her garden. "Now go ahead and set them up where you would like. Looking at whatever catches your eye." She follows me around until I set the easel down in front of an old oak tree. Smiling at me, she nods approvingly. "I think this will do nicely."

Nicely? Nicely for what? My brow furrows as I look at her confused. "I don't think I understand."

Smiling at me, Mom replies, "I want to teach you to paint, Hiroshi. I've found that focusing on the beauty that surrounds us helps overcome all the pain and ugliness. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that there are things worth living for and, if need be, dying for. Painting provides a wonderful way to focus your energies, not unlike the breathing exercises that your Grandfather taught you." She opens up her paints and hands me a brush. "Here you go, Hiroshi. Take the brush and a few deep breaths to clear your head. Then look at your subject. Study it."

I take the offered brush and do as I'm told. Closing my eyes, I inhale deeply, exhaling slowly. I guess that makes sense. Finding the balance of the good with the bad. Another deep breathe. Must clear my head of the bad thoughts and think of the good thoughts. Opening my eyes, I stare at the oak, examining it. The texture of the bark. The bend of its boughs. The shape of the leaves.

Almost whispering, my Mom says, "Look beyond the physical. Feel the spirit of the tree. That is what you want to paint. When you are ready, dip the brush into the paint and apply it to the canvas. Let the spirit be your guide."

The spirit of the tree. Like the spirits that haunt me. Only I focus on this spirit and its beauty. Slowly, I dip the brush in the paint. Tenuously, I drag the brush against the canvas. One stroke then another. Before I know it, the trunk has taken shape. After a few more strokes, the branches manifest.

"You're doing well," whispers Mom. "Stay focused. Let your brush flow across the canvas as an extension of you."

I take another breath as I nod to her in reply. Yes, I can feel it. My arm, hand and brush move as one. The black watercolor begins to define leaves and shadows. The chaos that was in my head subsides, replaced by tranquility. "Mom, you are right. This does help. I feel much better than when I woke up. Thank you."

She steps next to me, squeezing my arm. "You're welcome, Hiroshi." She stretches on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. "I love you, son." A pause while she smiles brightly up at me. "Now let me show you how to improve your definition."

A warm feeling passes over me at her touch. I feel like a great weight has been lifted from me or that I've received great strength. Setting the brush down, I return the hug, enveloping her in my arms. "I love you too, Mom."

197,725 B.C.E.

The Inquisitor says, "You felt the weight lift... she gave you that gift. Transferring the illusion of the guilt into an illusion on canvas. A way to channel the falseness out of you and call it art. She understood what you are. The Samurai always pursued the arts you show me, a balance between the carnage their artfully executed service created."

The Inquisitor strokes the Samurai's jawline with one finger, an alien sensation, a shocking violation. "So we find the answer, Hhiroshhi Thachah'mmmahtha. Your function is to serve. To fulfill your duty. To Obey your orders. To accomplish your mission."

The Inquisitor says, "To be the pawn."

The Inquisitor says, "To be the knight."

The Inquisitor says, "To be the rook."

The Inquisitor says, "Configuration is ultimately irrelevant. Mission assigned. Objectives Completed. Duty exectued."

The Inquisitor moves to the side a bit, mandibles almost touching the Samurai's earlobe now, "You define your life by the service you perform. What you do is not what you are? You are what you do. Everything else is of less relevance."

Takamura gazes at the Inquisitor curiously. "I could have chosen a different path. I could have remained a hockey player. But..." Suddenly, his eyes widen with a realization. "...I couldn't. I felt a calling. To something larger than myself. To do something that would make a difference."

The Inquisitor says, "To serve."

Takamura turns his head to look him right in his pale face and nods. "Yes. To serve."

The Inquisitor says, "So what is your Function?"

Takamura says, "My Function is to serve."

The Inquisitor nods his large head, rising again to its full height after so long in a hunkered state. The Inquisitor take a full pace back, those encroached inches surrendered effortlessly. The middle hands reach inside the robe he wears and from those depths extract a long object and a shorter object so very familiar to the Samurai.

A Daisho

The Inquisitor extends the two scabbarded weapons enclosed in one hand so they are within the easy reach of the Samurai to take. He waits then.

Takamura's eyes widen again when he recognizes the objects held out for him. Slowly, he gets to his feet, dusting himself off. After straightening his topknot, Takamura stoically steps in front of the Iconian and gently takes hold of the swords. As he does this, the Samurai bows respectfully to the Inquisitor. Standing straight up, he then slides the two scabbards into his belt.

The Samurai slips his blades into his belt, snapping awake awash with cold, white light. So much light that his eyes wince naturally in the face of it, until, eventually, he is able to filter out the vague impression of walls and the vague feeling of being surrounded by water. There is no sign of the source of all of this light, and yet, he feels no urge to seek the answer either. And, aware of this odd lack of curiosity, he still finds no motive to remain where he is. A vague buzzing sound haunts the edge of his subconscious awareness. Somewhere, there is the crackle of what may be a fire, but he sees none, and smells no smoke.

The Samurai moves forward. Confident. Tranquil. Powerful. His steps create faint sounds upon the water, not quite splashes.

The Samurai's linear path takes him into the light and he is lost from view...

...and with his passing, all that remains is cold, empty light.

-----Fin: History Lessons part two -- Defining Shikan -----