Cats as Cats Can
Episode Name: Cats as Cats Can Written By: Fortunae Cast: Domino, Fortunae and Heller. Produced By: Starfleet Directed By: Fortunae Aired On: Fri Apr 04 02:25:32 2003 Stardate: 53116.6
Time: Thu Apr 03 19:05:18 2003
Stardate: 53115.9
The city of New Florida on Occa the customs office at the New Florida Sky Port, a singularly unattractive building near the painted tarmac squares that represent the Occan's primary space port. Through the mirror windows, into the ground floor of the structure is revealed a human of a most singular cast surrounded by three uniformed humans and one in a shabby grey suit. The one in the suit knocks the cup of water off the brown table in front of the human in the black turtleneck and and bangs his fist on the surface bellowing, "What do you mean you aren't the representative from the Terran government?!? When you asked for clearance to land and an appointment with hte council you said you represented the government -- now you are telling me /after/ I got your an appointment and the President is expecting you at the Hall of Governance that you represent the /Nausicaan/ government!?! Do the Nausicaans even /have/ a government!?! And if they do, what are /you/ representing them?!?"
Heller watches the cup fall to the floor. Then he looks back up at the shabbily-suited man, his face transformed into one of his trademark 'winning' smiles. "The people of Nausicaa do in fact have a Government, sir, and I do indeed represent them. Under the authority of Gr'raak'ta, the leader of the United Nausicaan Alliance, I am here to initiate diplomatic relations." He clears his throat, and looks around. "Why am I representing them? I'm glad you asked." He smiles and sits back slightly, talking with his hands. "The Nausicaan people have done so many wonderful things for me, changed my life for the better, really, that... well, I just wanted to give something back to them. That is why I offered to represent them to you good people... and to others, in my capacity as a person who can see both sides of the story... Human and Nausicaan." He gets an empathetic expression now, at this point. "The Nausicaan people have had a rough past, but they are a people who have recently united, under Gr'raak'ta... a people who want to improve their lot in life. That is why I represent them. I want to help them."
Heller adds, sincerely,"...the way that they helped me."
The man in the shabby suit looks apoplectic for a moment, the police officers seem to be trying hard not to laugh at the politico's misstep, they obviously consider Heller to be mostly harmless. The senior police officer looks to the man in the shabby suit and says, "You have already announced his landing and they are expecting him at the reception -- better the wrong man show up then no one. We have a car outside to take you..."
The man in the shabby suit gives Heller an accusing look but relents, "Yes, you will have to explain yourself! And don't try to blame this on me, I won't be responsible for your...your... deception!"
Heller's smile widens. Just a bit. As he stands, his hand goes to his chest in a gesture of unquestionable sanctity. He wisely doesn't comment, and instead nods. "I sincerely regret any miscommunication, sir. And of course, I will explain everything to your... superiors." He smiles, innocence. "So. Shall we go?" He grins.
Some time later the sleek ground car pulls to a stop outside the Hall of Governance, city central in New Florida. A brass band in stylish uniforms is arranged on either side of the steps leading up to the generous front of the civic structure, and pennants of Occa's flag are spaced evenly between white background banners with the ancient symbol of Earth's united nations. Between the band and security in thier black suits, President Pro-tem Vhypist and his Ministers await the arrival of the Ambassador in their finest suits and vestments of office.
The limosine comes to a slow stop before the curb where the red carpet beneath Vhypist's feet ends and the man in the shabby suit opens his door immediately to hurry around the car to open the door closest to the carpet and allow Heller to step out.
And step out Heller does, in all his glory. Shiny leather pants, dark blue sweater, devil-may-care hair, and his carefully polished medallion of a grinning Nausicaan skull (Gr'raak'ta's trademark). He eyes the red-carpet momentarily and emits a brief, resigned sigh, even as his mouth begins curving and his eyes light up with that saucy, magnetic madness that has probably served him nicely in the past. He gives the shabby-suited fellow a particularly warm glance. "Again, thank-you. This is a great thing that you have done today." His expression turns solemn. "This means something." He punctuates that statement with a meaningful pause, before grinning and turning to begin his proud prominade up the carpet... towards Vhypist.
. o O Heller thinks "The UNA is so lucky that I'm versatile. And clever. Red carpet. What a hose job..."
The cascade of flash bulbs captures Vhypists horror at seeing the "Terran Representative" and his medallion. Still, humoring the masses is his obligation if she should want to keep his hope of re-election alive, and then it can be seen playing his eyes, how he pull this together into a situation that works best for him. He takes a few steps and shakes Heller's hand, after pressing his prepared speech into the stomach of his closest minister, "Occa welcomes you, Mister Heller, and hopes that this will be a first step in our peoples maintaining peaceful if seperate roles in the future of the galaxy. If you will please accompany us inside, we have a reception planned for you and your.." -- Vhypist sees no entourage so shifts gears mid-sentence -- "welcome to make the most of it." Vhypist shifts his eyes back and forth then releases the hand, turning to walk up the stairs, clearly expecting Heller to follow.
Heller smiles and nods, and follows. Quite amicably. And sincerely. Sincerity is the word.
Inside the ballroom in the hall of governance, the cream of Occan political society is awaiting Heller, and soon he finds himself in a line where strangers come to him and shake his hand and ask confusingly about which government he represents and that interesting neckless he has on...
GAME: Heller spends a courage point.
<CONTEST> Heller (claiming advantage) contests his Diplomacy (Intergalactic Affairs) skill vs a difficulty of Moderate and Fails!
...To which Heller replies, and proudly so, "I represent the UNA, the United Nausicaan Alliance, the people of the world of Nausicaa... and this is the national symbol of the Nausicaan people..." Which, nonetheless, does not endear him to the cultivated and refined tastes of these fine Occan politicians, especially since they were expecting a Terran representing Terrans. Naturally, the generic response is one of veiled surprise and amusement, as if Heller is... joking. Of course, that is the response he gets up-front. The behind-his-back response is much different. Nonetheless, Heller smiles and greets as suavely as can be. With rapidly decreasing credibility and without the luxury of diplomatic panache, but hey. It's a party. And he hasn't been kicked out yet!
Eventually the reception period ends, and Heller and the other guests are free to mix and dance and partake of the banquet loaded with occan delicacies of every stripe. The music is a variation of jazz, swing perhaps, and suitable to talk over or even dance to.
<CONTEST> Heller contests his Planetside Survival (Urban) skill vs a difficulty of Moderate and Succeeds!
Heller mingles, for he is rather good at mingling. Negligible credibility aside, he's still a person, darnit, and these are people... and he loves people. Not to mention that it really helps that these particular people are so diplomatic and polite. He mingles and smiles, and jokes around... every so often searching the area meaningfully for... escape. So, naturally, he gets a brilliant idea...
. o O Heller thinks "..I'll use the cute tourist act! Now. Hrm. To find a lady to show me the.. sights.. yes."
<CONTEST> Heller (claiming advantage) contests his Charm (Persuasion) skill vs a difficulty of Moderate and Fails!
Heller's eyes search and lock onto a potential target... a gaunt, yet demure-looking lady standing alone next to the buffet, clutching her hands... watching the dance floor longingly. His eyebrows go up slightly. As he sidles up to the girl, he puts on his game face. But... it doesn't go well. She seems immediately suspicious of him for some reason, eyes the punch drink he has brought her with timid suspicion, then quickly excuses herself to the bathroom. Heller follows her with his eyes, drinks the punch, then crushes the paper cup as he turns again to the crowd, to find another victim.
<CONTEST> Heller (claiming advantage) contests his Charm (Persuasion) skill vs a difficulty of Moderate and Fails!
Heller's eyebrows ascend again. Bingo. The unattractive and spinsterly daughter of... someone he'd met earlier. Alone and looking it. He smiles toothily.
Heller puts on his game face again and glides over toward the girl. Everything seems to be going fine… until her father literally steps between them. Eyeing Heller icily, he rapidly puts an end to Heller's gambit, and walks off with reluctant daughter in tow.
. o O Heller thinks "Yeah. I remember her. She *wanted* me."
<CONTEST> Heller (claiming advantage) contests his Charm (Persuasion) skill vs a difficulty of Moderate and Succeeds!
Heller watches the pair depart, but his disappointment is brief. Heller runs hand through his hair... licks his fingers and fixes his eyebrows... then he straightens his medallion, and returns his attention to the crowd. More specifically, the fringes of the crowd, land of the neglected and the rejected. Game face emerges once more, and this time he manages to hit a few favorable chords with a lady... Likely a widow, possibly the pissed-off wife of some grey-suited diplomat... but he isn't quite sure. One thing he does know... she doesn't seem to mind leaving the party with him. Which is, really, all he needs...
...but just as they are in agreement to depart Heller feels a hand close around his arm. A hand with long soft fingers and manicured nails; accompanied by a sultry voice that says, "Thank you for keeping him company for me Mrs. Doud; I'd wondered where he had gotten off to."
Mrs. Doud looks surprised, then she blushes and mumbles a polite excuse before taking leave of Marcus and slipping back into the crowd. The new woman steps around Marcus and gives him a view of her immaculate black tresses and intoxicating green eyes. "Marcus Heller," she says, "/the/ Marcus Heller -- imagine my surprise to see you here." The stranger pushes closer to him, the fabric of her shiny black dress catching on the sleeve of Marcus' sweater, and moves her lips up next to her ear. In a brush of warm air she says quietly, "Shall we slip out of here and talk?"
And Heller is rendered momentarily speechless, his comfort-zone going from hot to frozen in record time. "Of... course..." He eyes the woman. Heller isn't a suspicious guy, and hey... he *is* famous. In a few select circles. His grin returns. "Sure... I'm yours. And you are?"
"Yours, Tiger, let's go." She pulls back and drags her fingers down the length of his arm until the reach the skin of his hand, when she closes them into a grip again to lead him from the ball room. Outside the confines of the ballroom her heels click across the marble of the foyer, and as the security at the front deck turn to look she emits an artful bubbly giggle as if Marcus had just practiced his wit on her and she leans into his shoulder. The desk guards spare an extra moment to appreciate her appearance, and then go back to monitering thier stations as the couple pass through the main entrance of the Administrative building.
Outside in the early evening of New Florida, Marcus can see ground cars coming and going now that the roads are no longer blocked off for a diplomatic arrival. From his vantage he can see the sky line is still in the process of rebuilding from the liberation late the year before, his escort whispers "Keep moving, security is still watching us, once we are in my car we can lose them."
A short walk later Marcus finds himself in the passenger seat of her sleek red ground car, the safety restraints automatically securing him as his door closes. "Hold on Heller," she says and then puts the car in gear and peels away from the curb merging with reckless precision into the flow of traffic.
"Whoa!" Heller exclaims as he's thrown back. Holding on for dear life, he stares at the reckless woman, his smile waning. "So. Heh. Where are we going?"
"Thats what I wanted to ask you, "Slick Marus" Heller." The woman pulls hard on the wheel and centrifigul force pulls them to the left and whips her hair like a living thing. "I know this Nausicaan Ambassador scam isn't your real reason for being here... what are you after? The Occan National Art Museum? The Ministry of Art and Culture bulding? I want in, you cut me in and I'll help you, fifty fifty split."
Heller recoils just a bit, yet maintains his weakly little smile. He eyes the woman. His grin widens slightly, as he relaxes. Yes, this is a familiar situation. "*Even* if I weren't here for a legitimate diplomatic reason... why should I let you have a piece of my pie?"
"I think that should be obvious," she yanks the wheel again, internal collision warnings sounding from the dashboard as she pull across oncoming traffic and then shoots the car into an underground parking garage, "I know this city and you don't. You were floundering back there and I saved you. These rubes are so low tech we can have our choice of pickings, and what a better place to lay low? A whole world full humans that has no extradition or even normalized relations with the Federation -- you slip from here, do a little work, then slip back in and Fis and Fleet are left scratching their heads."
She flips her right hand across the dashboard and there is a sheen of light momentarily down the length of the car shifting it from red to blue as the license plates on the exterior flip and show a different pattern. She directs the car back into traffic with casual speed and turns at the next corner, just another car, just another couple.
. o O Heller thinks "Damn. She's... smart..."
Heller eyes the woman, his eyes narrowing, but regarding her favourably otherwise. "Apparently, my reputation proceeds me." He grins, pleased. That's kind of a nice feeling, apparently. "But you've got me all wrong. At least this time. There's no profit in what I'm doing. So, you're wasting your time. I do appreciate the lift, though. And the company..."
The woman arches a perfectly shaped eyebrow and looks over her shoulder towards Heller, a sardonic twist to her lips. "You aren't doing whatever you are here for for free... you cut me in on this, I'll help you and we can talk about future jobs at another time."
Heller eyes the woman, who is just a little too organized for her own good, really. He ponders a moment. "Fine. I'll give you half of my cut. But we do things... my way. Agreed?"
"Until your way starts to go wrong and looks to be getting us killed, then we switch positions tiger." She winks then looks back to the road, "So, what's the score ... boss?"
Heller sits back, and crosses his arms, pondering. "You drive. I do my job. We get paid." He smiles, that manic madman light returning to his eyes. "It's pretty simple really."
"So, what is it?" she asks again.
Heller massages his chin, pondering. "I have coordinates... I have access codes..." He glances at the driver, smiling ever so warmly, "And, I'm sorry, but that's about all I can tell you... since I don't know who you are and for whom you are working... It's nothing personal, just a survival thing."
"My name is Domino, I work for myself, sometimes I work with others. Now...why don't you tell me what we are doing in more detail Marcus..." She says glancing over before putting her hand on Heller's knee.
<CONTEST> Domino (claiming advantage) contests his Charm (Seduction) skill vs Heller's Presence (Willpower) skill and Succeeds!
Later...
...Dominoe pulls her black turtleneck sweater over shoulders, the sleek fabric falling gracefully over the small of her back. She looks across the well heeled apartment toward Heller who is highlighted in silouette against the nightscape of New Florida through the bay plate glass windows, then pulls her dark hued ruck sack of tools and tricks off the end of the bed full of tossled sheets and blankets. "You ready to go?"
Heller nods hazily, grinning like an idiot. Well, at least he's a happy idiot. "Ready when you are."
. o O Heller thinks "I am THE MAN."
Still later...
...the black car pulls off the road, lights off and glides across the terrain outside of New Florida. As the car comes to a stop Dominoe says, "Over that hill is where the Dominion Cloning facility was during the occupation. The Military took control of the ruins of what was left after Starfleet hit it, but pretty much all that meant was some bulldozing and sifting for anything of value. Those guys didn't leave much behind but rubble and skeletons if you know what I mean. Anyway, the grid coordinates you have for a secret access into the underbasement area is around here somewhere. We should get out and find it, obviously it's not going to show up on our tricorders." With that she slides him a sultry smile and gets out of the car to begin searching.
GAME: Domino spends a courage point.
Heller gets out nodding, almost convincingly. "Yes, obviously..." He clears his throat, his manners still seeming a bit tousled, so to speak. His eyes shift around. Right. Searching... He nods, to himself this time, then starts emulating his more capable companion...
GAME: Heller spends a courage point.
<CONTEST> Heller (claiming advantage) contests his Search skill vs a difficulty of Challenging and Fails!
<CONTEST> Domino (claiming advantage) contests his Search skill vs a difficulty of Challenging and Succeeds!
...after nearly a quarter an hour of searching, Domino raises her voice and says, "Here it is, Tiger. See how the stump line angle doesn't line up perfectly against the grain? Now...your turn... bypass the security interlocks while I wait over here in case it's tamper proofed." With that she begins to hustle away from the hidden entrance.
GAME: Heller spends a courage point.
<CONTEST> Heller (claiming advantage) contests his Security (Security Systems) skill vs a difficulty of Challenging and Succeeds!
Heller looks up from the foxhole he'd been investigating, then wanders over to the hidden entrance. He gets a dangerously amused gleam in his eyes. "I know this configuration." He rubs his hands together, puckers his lips thoughtfully, then puts his fingers in motion. Expertly, and precisely, he defeats each interlock. Upon completion, he steps back and flashes a thoroughly pleased look to Domino. "Piece of cake. We're in."
Domino claps her hands a few times then scampers over to join Heller, giving him a swift peck on the cheek before saying, "Okay, lead the way." She then draws her Federation manufactured civilian grade tricorder from her gear bag and slips the battery into place before activating the passive energy sensor mode.
Heller grins in place, for a moment, paralyzed by his own self-love. The sound of the battery sliding into place takes him out of his reverie, however. He winks at the woman as he starts moving inwards. "Stay close."
"Why would I want anything else?" She replies...
...soon the two "adventurers" are low walking down the unlit tunnel that is still rather clean and free of disorderly debris despite the massive planetary bombardment that occured on this region the year before. Occassionally Domino announces picking up an energy signature and just as quick as the first one, Heller goes to work and disable it without missing a beat. They spring the last hatch and thier wrist lights play out into a deep dark space full of the shapes of machinery and consoles, occassionally winking off of glass or clear plastic. The air is heavy here, old, and clearly the roof of the floor that was above this one has tumbled down into this space crushing much of what was formerly contained within.
"My goodness Marcus," Domino says. "You do bring me to the most unusual places."
Heller can't help but give Domino a smile and a quick eyebrow wriggle. "Twice in one night, even." He gives a devilish grin, then starts stepping around the debris meaningfully. He knows what he's looking for...
<CONTEST> Heller contests his Shipboard Systems (Cloning Tanks) skill vs a difficulty of Routine and Succeeds!
...and his instincts appear to be good. Having a definite purpose seems to have taken over Heller's mind, and for all of his previously apparent dumb-mastery, he comes through as surprisingly astute, each identified tank coming more quickly than the last. Unfortunately, all seem to be broken... that is until he stumbles upon a storage area, partially hidden behind collapsed pieces of the ceiling. A cursory inspection brings a smile to his face. He calls for Domino's help, then starts pulling away at the obstructions... A closer inspection makes his eyes light up. He crouches next to one of the tanks. "These two. Are good. No... power cells... but, they seem otherwise alright." He looks around, grinning, then... stops grinning. "Hrm." He ponders. He looks at the large tanks. He ponders. "Now... to get them out of here..." He looks at Domino. "Too big to carry through the tunnel. Too deep to transport." He looks thoughtful. "That pretty much exhausts my extraction options. Look like we'll have to regroup and come back for them." He looks at Domino again.
Domino considers the options listed by Marcus and then shakes her head, the raven black hair now salted with dust swaying back and forth fluidly -- then she stops and looks up. "If you have a ship with industrial cargo transporters... and an operator with an acumen of skill... shape charges could be put on the ceiling there -- "she points, "There and there. You blow the charges, the rubble goes upward you have a slim window as the obstruction is moving up to snake the transporter lock on and beam...and presto. Investigation by the police will indicate that the rubble shifted and settled if you use an explosive that leaves almost no trace and that is beyond their technical expertise. Military grade... or maybe dilithium mining grade. I don't suppose you have anything like that?"
Heller grins at Domino, eyeing the capable and way to smart woman. "You're... really something else." He pauses, thoughtfully. "Explosives are a negative --- must have left it in my other pants... as for idustrial cargo transporters, that's also a no-go. All I have is my shuttle..." He looks at the tank in front of him. He pats it gently. "Plus, this was more or less a scouting mission... with a plan to come back, if necessary. So." He grins up at Domino. "Mission accomplished. Time to report and collect."
"Hold on there tiger... if we don't extract today, I'm guessing it's a smaller payday -- I expect my cut of the big payday too, or else something might happen to these things while you are getting your shuttles in a row if you follow my gist -- speaking of payday, if this is just a scouting mission, when am I going to get paid?" Domino asks directly, but not with an unfriendly tone.
Heller smiles back at Domino. "Relax, don't sweat it. The pay is the same, whether we transport them now or later." He crosses his heart. "I swear. And you'll get paid when I get paid. Fifty-fifty, as agreed." His grin falters a bit. "It would be in your best interest to not interfere with my employers getting these items. Seriously."
Domino brushes her bangs back from her face with her left and and smiles. "Not to worry Tiger, I'll play along for now, after all, if I don't get my cut of the action it's not a big deal to send a little love letter to the Fis and Fleet telling them your pulling Dominion Cloning tanks off Occa after that I'm sure your employers will have more to worry about then me." The smile that follows is positively sweet. "Shall we get out here then? We need to get you back to the city before the government agents get too suspicious about your whereabouts."
. o O Heller thinks "She is way. Too. Smart."
Heller eyes Domino briefly. Then he grins. A manic, winning, Heller-grin. "That sounds. Fair." He stands, and starts dusting off his beloved leather pants. "You... want to make another brief... visit to your place?" He grins. "I could use a quick shower." He adds, more seriously, "To, you know, ward of suspicion."
Domino laughs an musical bubbly laugh...
... hours later Heller is picked up by the local authorities at a night club in the West Side of New Florida. His story that he simply went out to taste the local culture and nightlife was met with dubious suspicion, but the Occans in the end decided to respect his diplomatic credentials -- if for no other reason than if the Nausicaans were crazy enough to trade shots with the Klingons, they were surely crazy enough to orbitally bomb Occa for a few minutes in response to their diplomatic envoy being incarcerated and questioned.
Escorted back to his shuttle at the Skyport, Marcus is met again by the man in the shabby grey suit who seems to take elaborate glee in informing Heller that his is persona non grata on Occa until such a time as the Occan government initiates diplomatic relations with the U.N.A. Minutes later Heller is in the air and spacebound, New Florida's lights a beacon behind him, marking the treasure he is leaving behind.
Whether the treasure is the tanks or the girl... well, that's yet to be decided.
