"I don't remember feeling this well in... well, not since before I went to the academy. Honestly, I've never felt so secure and comfortable with myself. I'm even doing well socially. I can carry on a normal conversation with a few friends and even introduce myself to people. Still, when the crowd gets too big, like it did last week with Lt. P'trell, I have a panic attack and have to leave. But that's all right."

"Speaking of P'trell, I really love him. He's great. Very understanding and social. Not like Kallan who I never saw outside of his office, or... umm... Accolon, who I don't think I ever even met. P'trell is nice and he's social too. We have different views, but he's very understanding about mine, and I'm curious about his. I forsee that my career here will no longer be stuck in a rut."

"Oh... and Loni Haven sent me a strange, furry gourd the other day. Umm... hold on." She gets up and hurries off screen. Then, she returns a few moments later holding up a coconut with a hollowed out top and a little, paper umbrella. "See? She said its for the beach party. But I'm just keeping it as decoration for now. Its neat. And, I am a big fan of furry plant-matter, so..." She giggles, "And Loni came over last night. I cooked dinner and we talked. Honestly, I knew that she was very different inside before it came out. I knew she had problems, but... oh well... at least now she knows she has a friend in me. And, well... she knows she has something more in me if she wants it. I told her how I felt. And, maybe I laid it on a little thick. But... I don't know... I told her she didn't have to say anything. But at least that's not an out-and-out rejection. Honestly, before she left, I told her that... well, I made it clear that I was open if she... I don't know how to say it. I almost kissed her, too, but that would have been bad. But when I touched her face, just for a moment,... well, I saw something in her eyes. It gives me hope."

"Either way, tomorrow my transport leaves. I can't wait to be back home and see my family. And go back to my old haunts. I feel like its a whole new person going home too. Veronica Frank, the new counselor, she said that its going to be like seeing my old world through a new set of eyes. You know... as sick as this may sound, especially because... because of Ann... I think I owe a lot to the accident. Its forced me to recognize how delicate life can be and... that, really... what do the little things matter. Even embarassment, which is my one of my biggest fears. I hope I can hold onto these new feelings."

"Personal log, stardate 52220.1." A wide grin spreads across her face. "I'm almost finished packing. I'll be moving in with Michael on level three. He's even going to let me keep my bike," she says happily. "He's changed a lot since I left. He's more in touch with his feelings, and he doesn't have as much problem expressing them. He has become very sensitive and very sweet, and he practically worships my tummy," she says with a grin as she rubs her swollen stomach. "He's going to be an awesome papa."

"Last night we met on the holodeck in a gorgeous waterfall setting that belongs to that lecherous bartender in the 'Zone. It was so beautiful, and peaceful there, but I couldn't help but wonder how many women that bartender had seduced in it. I gave Michael the ring that I had made for him before I left the station. He seemed to like it." She sits down on her couch and giggles. "Marriage. Michael asked me to marry him last night, and I accepted. How could I not? I was going to ask him the same thing, after all. I'm so excited, there is so much to do. And I hope that this will be a step toward Loni and Zeel's trust of Michael and his intent. I love them all so much, that I hope everyone can get along soon. I want them to be happy for me."

The UFP Logo fades out to show Veronica Frank, dressed in casual civilian garb, sitting in the chair at her desk. She has one leg drawn up, her hands clasping her shin casually, slouched back in her chair as she regards a spot off to the side. Her mood is up-beat, lips curved, eyes bright and alive.

"Stardate 52220.1, Personal Log of Ensign Veronica Frank, Junior Counselor, Station 419 Upsilon. Proceeding..." She pauses, and licks her lips. "Well. Here I am! First posting out of the Academy. Woo! Go, me!" Another pause, and she laughs, grinning. "I hate doing these things. I mean, what do you say? Well, Kellestra touted the importance of the Personal Log to the winds when she was busy giving me the Everything a Young Ensign Should Know speech before I left. So. I guess she's right. She -usually- is." She makes a little face, and grins again. "I'll thank her for this, one of these days. Another Kellestra-ism. But. When I'm old and gray and full of sleep? Yeah. I'll probably want to look back and have a record of what the hell I was doing with my youth. So on with the show..."

She drums her fingers, seeming to hum with energy. "I haven't met the head Counselor yet, or any of the counselors, really. I finally got my physical and have been cleared for duty. Dr. Clough, a Betazoid, took care of that. We had a little conversation about 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'. She pissed me off from the door because she was listening in... Old, old issues for me." She shrugs. "She said it took an exhausting effort to block out people's surface thoughts." A small frown. "Maybe that's true. Kellestra never said anything about it, but I suppose everyone's different. Still, I'm glad I learned how to jam that frequency early on." She shifts in her chair, and pulls her other leg up, letting the first fall to sit cross legged. "I'm -itching- to get to work. I hope they add me to the rotation soon."

She runs a hand back through her long hair, and rolls her head forward a moment, thoughtfully. Then, brightly, "Everyone here, so far, seems to be rather cool." She grins, and announces with excitement, "-Lots- of -Andorians- on board. Yay for -that-. I've only really had the chance to chat with Prythra P'Trell, the Chief Science Officer, but he's -fun-. Crazy-passionate as one might expect? But charming as the day's long. I also had a couple drinks with Second Officer Edwards who, while he needs to serious relax? Is a fine fellow. And I met his... uhm... fiance? Girlfriend? The mother of his child, Bela, and Orion woman..." She rolls her eyes, and grins ruefully. "Talk about feeling -seriously- out-femmed! I mean... I'd heard rumours? But -seriously-. Orion women have got it -all- going -on-. /Really/ nice lady though, from what I could tell."

She shifts again, and drums her fingers on her lips. "What... else? I'm gonna teach Edwards to play Paresi Squares. I met a Vulcan, Sulok, who's actually not half-bad to hang out with. I mean... I know I'm probably hallucinating, but he seems to have a sense of /humour/." She pauses, and looks at the camera significantly, like 'I -know-'. "A very, very dry, very Vulcan-esque sense of humour (if you can imagine such a thing)... but there you go. I'm probably just reading in, though. Anyhow, we're supposed to go rock climbing, and that should be fun." She tips her head back to look at the ceiling, then grabs the edge of her desk and sends her chair spinning around in circles. Whee!

"Everyone tells me I'm really... -highly- unusual for a Counselor." She grabs the desk edge again and abruptly stops her spinning. "Y'think?" She laughs, and shakes her head. "I think none of them would recognise me if they saw me with a patient. I -am- capapble of being serious and professional, but I don't see a reason to lug that home from work with me, y'know? And besides... Different strokes for different folks. Some people like their Counselors to be clinical and cold and Freudian. Some people like to be able to -relate- to their counselors. You know... as an alive, feeling sapient. So it's good that there are all kinds out there." She pauses, and arches her eyebrows at the ceiling. "Four winds, I wish they'd put me to work."

The starfleet emblem blinks away and is replaced by the picture of the lieutenant (j.g.) sitting on a couch, eyes intent upon the camera. Light from the anomaly tints her blonde hair a blue-white color.

"I haven't written one of these since before I left the station.... There never was much time on the Venture for such things, always a battle to be fought."

Looking away from the camera, Poole frowns at the thoughts of the past. She's quiet for several long moments, then speaks again. "That's all over with now... I'm back home, back on the right front of the war. The most dangerous front.... The most important." A wry smirk. "Armed in teacher's trappings, no less. There are others better suited to command this station than a hothead like myself, glad Starfleet's realized that."

"Aaron Park. He hasn't changed one bit since I left, my kind of counselor, really, a good man. He had to ask about Marcus though, and I wish he hadn't. Did you come to an understanding?... Or something like that. Yes, I understood Marcus needed his space and he understood, I think at the very last, who he was losing."

Poole looks back at the camera now, taking a deep breath in and out before she continues. "I'll need to steer him away from that topic of conversation, when I take him up on that meal he suggested..... Nev was next on my list... Hmmmm, I think I gave him a heart attack when I showed up from behind him, and he -smiled-. I really wish I had my holocamera for that."

The screen flickers on to Dosa, sitting on her couch, holding what looks like a cocktail napkin to her left index finger. The napkin is soaked with dark Cardassian blood.

"I can't believe I let that Nal person get underneath my skin. The nerve of her! I make one small good-natured comment about her springwine being manufactured with zero Bajorans harmed in the process and she demands another, and from Milara! _I_ was the bartender on duty. If she cannot laugh at the shortcomings between our two races, how am I to deal with these people? _I_ didn't murder your families!"

She looks off camera, eyeridges in a knit, scowling. Then, she sighs, closing her eyes for a moment. Finally, she speaks again.

"I am a perfect being, genetically, and yet I cannot even master my own emotions. My own emotional outbursts. Some times, I wish I could get to know the Bajoran people, yet something deep down, encoded in my DNA somewhere, is this hatred for these creatures. I cannot play my game if there are so many around. I need harmony around me, so I can further breed harmony, so I am regarded highly with much vesala and _left alone_."

Shaking her head, she checks her bleeding finger, and then declares, "I think perhaps I should see one of those Starfleet counselors. Explain to them my problem. My stress. Maybe they can help."

She considers, with a slight grin.

The ear-splitting screech of a Golden eagle cuts through the hot heavy air of the desert valley. Suddenly the eagle tucks its wings and dives, becoming a sleek arrow plummeting toward the crest of the tower. At the last possible moment, the eagle snaps her wings open and three powerful sweeps of her wings bringing her to a soft landing.

Far below the aerial display of the eagle, the desert valley spreads out. The hard packed desert floor, dotted with gray sage, extends as far as the eye can see ending only when it seems to butt up against the cornflower cloudless shy. Rising up out of the sand is a towering spire of sandstone. The breeze at this height is light, ruffling D'Rossi's hair gently as he sits atop the spire looking out over the desert. His legs are raised to his chest, arms crossed and resting on his knees, each hand gripping the opposite elbow with his chin propped on his forearms. The bright sun shinning down turns his dark storm gray eyes to liquid mercury.

"I don't understand the people here or the thing they actually came to ask me to do. They asked me to step in and be the...mate of an Orion woman named Bela. Seems the man that got her pregnant didn't want the responsibility that came with getting his willy wet. I can't grasp that concept. How could a father knowingly walk away from his kid?"

He sighs and twists his body about so that he is laid out on his belly, watching the magnificent mother below him tend her young.

"Doesn't matter now though. Seems Edwards finally stepped up to the bat. That's the scuttlebutt anyway. No one's bothered to tell me to my face though. I'll tell ya, I'm starting to feel like one of Uncle Ron's prized stallions. When the stallion you -want- to breed your mare to isn't receptive to the idea, you bring in another stud and use him to tease the mare and piss your prized stud off. The end result? Your prize stud pulls his head out of his ass and gets on with the business at hand. That's a fine tactic to use for animals but I thought that Starfleet was above that. I know that sounds unfair cause they didn't think they had a choice but damn. It wasn't any better then pimping out two Officers."

"I don't think this would have bothered me so much if it hadn't hit so close to home. Me and Kayla were together for a long damn time but she doesn't want a family and I do. Now this. Salt in an open wound. That's all it was. To hell with them all if they can't be man enough to come to me themselves. I'll find what I was meant to have....someday."

The UFP logo vanishes to reveal what can only be the Andorian Lodge, other lodgemates can be seen carrying on w/ their evening's activities. For most it would appear to be sleeping, the time coordinated indicate that Prythra has opted to record the wee hours of the morning for posterity for some reason. Two, long, thin drooping antenna can be seen sticking out of a large pile of furs. "Personal Log...P...waitaminute, I know who I am and nobody else should be seeing this unless they're a light sleeping lodgemate and they know who I am as well so HA! I'm drunk. yep..no two ways about it. The chances of my looking back on my behavior this evening with a sense of pride and quiet dignity are roughly 2, 972.6634 to 1.0 I ate Itallian food, that part was exciting. Needed salt but I hadn't the heart to tell Counselor Frank that, the evening was going so well."

he looks at the wall and says, "Replicator, lovely replicator, water, ludicrously huge glass..no make that cup. Me and glass right now...bad idea...So Water ludicrously huge unbreakable cup and add flavorless suppliments of vitamins E, C and B, also add a rehydration agent to the water...thank you." He cackles maniacally under his little fort of fur. "Ha! Hangover thwarted by science! and they called me mad at the academy! So, oh yes, why I'm opting to make private record of myself in a truly embarrashing state...I had dinner with Couselor Frank, have I mentioned that she's scads of fun? Whole lot of Vulcan wine. Hence the need to remind myself that I indeed, did have dinner and only a respectable amount of schenannigans ensued afterwards. Oh, note to self, thank Havaris for that Bajoran mountain program, good stuff that. Also, reminding myself that she too was very drunk, Veronica Frank, not Havaris Kusto, actually I've no idea if he was drunk, pretty irrelivant when you think about it." The largish mound of fur shalumphs towards the replicator and a thin, blue hand snares a plastic cup of augmented water from the device, then shambles like some sort of shapeless, drunken mammoth over to where some of his other Lodgemates lie sleeping.

"Something happened last night... A big something, I think. He might think differently, of course, but... Our friendship has become so much stronger, in so short a time."

Poole lunges forward and stabs a target she's set up, nabbing it near the center. "I spent the night." She turns towards the camera and leans on the hilt of her rapier, digging the blade's tip into the flooring. "He hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in a long time, and I thought, in the interest of our renewed friendship... and since he's given me a second chance, that I could help him."

She sighs softly and sets the glass of ice on the coffee table. "In a way, she's right. I've become a lot more accommodating recently, but that's all physiological.. Is that so bad anyway? I used to be too spirited for Michael, though that might be what attracted him to me in the first place. But we clashed a lot because I had some pretty wild opinions. Now.. Things are perfect. I am so much happier than I have been in a very long time."

"Personal log, Ensign Eliara Zian, stardate--oh hell. Computer, insert time and date stamp." The computer chirps it's assent, and Eliara continues, nodding slightly. "Well. Here I am, on station four one nine. I've been cleared for duty, and am now a member of the science staff, specializing in social sciences." She chuckles softly, shaking her head. "Who'd'a thought it, huh? Me, a science officer, of all things. I hope this doesn't mean I'm going to be expected to master quantum physics or anything like that, so I'm cross-trained for other scientific disciplines... we'll see, I guess."

"So far, the people here all seem pretty nice. My first night here, I met a few people up in the Neutral Zone--the local bar, up on the mall level. One of them was an engineer named Lt. Nevaren. He seemed a rather friendly and likeable fellow, if not overly talkative... he seemed a bit preoccupied with thoughts of some woman... an old lover or somesuch, I'm guessing. I really don't know quite what to make of him... I mean, he looks like he could be an albino Vulcan or something, only with facial hair... but his mind is far too open and undisciplined for that to be so. Maybe he's of a different species entirely... it could be interesting to find out more about him. If he /is/ from a new and different race than I've encountered before, I'd like to get to know more about his culture. Heh. A sociologist's work is never done, huh?"

"Along with Nevaren, I also met one of his friends, a Trill man named Duncan. _Agent_ Duncan, of the DTI. Yeah, I know... creepy, huh? But Duncan is... well, not quite what I'd expect a DTI agent to be like. Not that I've ever met one (that I know of) to compare him against, but..." she shrugs helplessly, not quite able to articulate the point she's trying to get across. "Anyway, he's really nice, and quite talkative... I enjoyed our conversation, although it did end up getting cut a bit short, when an old crewmate of mine from DS9 showed up. Ensign Tahlandi Karanya. I didn't do much more than say hi and exchange room assignments, in case either of us wanted to stop by the other's quarters for a chat, but I must say it was damn good to see a familiar face again. I'd wondered where she'd transferred off to." Eliara pauses for a moment, a thoughtful expression on her face as she twists a long lock of curly hair around one finger. Absently, she comments, "She's even prettier than I'd remembered, too. Heh. Some girls have all the luck, huh?"

She shrugs slightly, dismissing it. "Anyway... the exam was pretty routine, and I got to chat with the doctor for a bit and get to know her a little. Despite her mental shields, it was pretty clear that something was bothering her... she was definitely not a happy person. Her smiles felt... forced. So... well, you know me... I can't stand to let anyone be unhappy if I can do anything to try to help them. I offered her the chance to tell me what's on her mind, if she ever feels she needs someone to talk to. Yes, I know, it' s not my job, I'm not a counselor... but dammit, I had to try. Helping out a friend or two isn't so bad... I don't get overwhelmed with that... it's just when I'm dealing with client after client, personal crisis after personal crisis... that's when it gets too be too much. I lose my impartiality, I get too involved. I can't distance myself from my clients... and then I'm no use to them whatsoever. I can sympathize, but that's about all. But I'm rambling..."

"After Callie--she insisted I call her by name--after she completed my physical, I decided to pop into Counseling, just to check in. I didn't remember seeing any regulations requiring that new personnel have a psych review, but it couldn't hurt, and Lt. P'Trell--the head science officer--had mentioned something about my psych eval in his notes when I reported in. I met Aaron Park, the station counselor, and talked with him for a bit... he seems nice. He's another one of those informal types, who asked that I call him either Aaron or Park." Eliara grins wryly. "I finally get used to all this military protocol, and now I've got all these people telling me to throw it out the window when i'm with them. But I'll get it straight, eventually. I have faith in that."

"Aaron's a very nice man, very accomodating, though he seems to be particularly hung up on the effects of stress on personnel. I don't know.... I mean, he kept reciting definitions and effects of stress in his mind, all the while we were talking. I don't know if he was trying to test my telepathic abilities, or just reminding himself of things to watch for, or what... I assured him that I know of plenty of ways to de-stress, just in case he had some concerns about me, for some reason."

"Oh! That reminds me, Callie says there are some others around on the station who enjoy rock climbing, so if I ever want someone to go climbing with, I shouldn't have a hard time finding a companion. 'Course, that would kinda defeat the purpose of getting out away from people... I can't clear my mind and relax if I bring someone else and their thoughts along with me. But who knows... it might be fun to have someone with me. We'll see what happens."

The imperial Klingon crest fades to VuQ'cheH, standing in bare quarters, with a number of bundles and heavy black crates behind him.

"I see much has changed since I left, Mohbeq. Ka'lah is not ugly, as you said, but it was good to test her vanity. She isn't. And I was afraid that I would be dealing with a weak female. I will continue to test her, and see if she is strong enough for the Kinvagh."

Grinning ferally, VuQ'cheH slams his fist into his other hand. "Thank you for allowing me to bring stability and honor back to the Empire, Mohbeq. I was festering, here, in this sterile-smelling Federation station. Killing traitors warms my guts and makes me want to sing opera and drink bloodwine!" He bellows with laughter.

Picking up his d'k tagh knife from a table out of view, VuQ'cheH tests the blade's edge with his thumb. "Vor'mak is not dead. He will continue to prove a useful Honor Guard, I think, as now as ambassador's -aide- I have a certain leeway to ferret out traitors against the Empire here... as well as traitors that would harm our alliance with the Federation against the Dominion. I hate the smooth-heads, but they are required. A means to an end."

He pauses for a moment to collect his thoughts, "Callie seems to be improving nicely, now that she's gotten out of her quarters and back to work. It was pretty touch and go with her for a while, but I think she'll be OK." He shakes his head, "I have to say that if I NEVER have to treat another doctor again, it'll be too soon. I certainly have a lot of sympathy for Sharra when she was treating me after the attack on the station a couple months ago. I'll have to make sure to send her a plant to thank her for putting up with me."

He looks thoughtful again, "Kara Dade is recovering nicely from what I understand. I haven't really seen a whole lot of her lately, but I know that she went on personal leave, to go home for a visit I'd presume. I certainly made a mess of things with her. I just hope that she hasn't lumped me in with all those people who she doesn't want to be around; I miss our talks." Park's brows come together, "Speaking of talks, I actually haven't seen much of Sharra around lately, either. I am going to have to make a note to myself to go and see what she's doing with herself. Let's see, what else?"

He pauses a moment to consider, then chuckles a bit, "Oh, Nev actually held a conversation with me! I about fell out of my chair. He normally gets all quiet and defensive when I walk into a room, but he actually seemed comfortable. Maybe people are starting to see that I'm not some horrible monster that wants to pry into their deepest, darkest secrets." He chuckles again, a glint in his eye, "No, I'm probably just reading into it."

"Personal log, Stardate 52225.2." Callie pauses and sighs, but she is speaking in her native tongue rather than Federation Standard. She smiles faintly. "More than a week since my last entry. Work must be busier than I had given credit for. Or life has been, at least. Ten days and so many changes. Isn't that always the case with these?"

Shaking her head, she continues. "I have heard nothing from Havaris Jiasha regarding my request for a DNA sample to further our search for her child, but I assume Lux will bring information when he has it. I am still anxious to have this done, but there are plenty of distractions to keep me occupied in the meantime - Lux being one of them. Strange, I have heard so few good things about the Ferengi, and yet Lux has become a marvelous friend. It is quite a relief to see that stereotypes are, sometimes, still proven false. He has been so wonderful to be near. None could ask for a better friend. He has even shown me how to laugh again. I doubt Mother or Father would believe me without seeing for themselves." She chuckles softly at that.

More seriously, Callie continues. "The matter with Ensign Bela seems resolved. Michael has returned to her, and I would imagine things will progress smoothly from here. I suspected he would resolve his differences with her, but I'm glad to see I was proven correct. I was highly dissatisfied with the idea of her being mated with someone she hardly knew. How unfair that would have been to her." A pause, then she starts back up again. "There was some problem when the pair reunited. Michael went... a bit overboard in his determination to see her, and Haven came to me for help in removing him. My instincts demanded that I leave them be, but Bela is in Haven's hands. I bowed to her wishes. I have spoken little to Michael sense. I do hope, though, that he will forgive me. I did keep my promise. They were not parted long." She sighs, "As for Haven, it seems she fears Michael will demand that Bela see another doctor for the remainder of her pregnancy, but I won't hear of it. Haven has done a marvelous job thus far, and I am certain she can do the same until and after the child's birth. She stays, even if I would prefer not having to go head to head with Michael over the matter. But, the infirmary is my territory, and I do what is best for my patients. In this case, Haven is best." She smiles faintly, "And Betazoid or not, I believe I was wrong about her. She dislikes me far less than I believed, though she hates my actions just as much as I do. I still have not found forgiveness for myself, but... I'm getting there. At the very least, it's over. I can do nothing to change it, and living the rest of my life based only on that moment would serve no purpose."

She appears somewhat saddened after her last comments, but goes on. "Aaron and Ensign Frank, our newest counselor, approached me recently with a problem I am attempting to find a resolution to. It seems Ensign Frank was assigned with Lt. Evans on a recent away mission, and she alleges that the report filed by Mr. Evans was, in parts, false. I have opened an investigation regarding the events of that mission, and whatever comes of it will be left to the Command Staff, but... I have little doubt that Ensign Frank is being entirely truthful." Tapping her forehead absently, Callie adds, "If she is lying, she is /exceedingly/ good at it. But, the investigation will tell. It is out of my hands for the time being. And in the meantime, it seems that Aaron and I have put aside some of our differences. I suspect I will remain a poor patient for him, but I am hopeful he has forgiven me for that, and we seem to understand one another a bit better now, at least."

There is a long pause before Callie continues. She takes a deep breath, then speaks with the barest hint of a smile. "Perhaps the greatest change, however, and certainly the greatest surprise, is the arrival of Bren Soderic on the station. We spent our childhoods together, bonded at our parents' desire. Not a betrothal, exactly, but perhaps hopeful of one in the future. He was always the best of my friends, not only because of our bonding. He was, simply, perfect to me." She frowns now, regretful. "After Kaitye's rape, though, I disappeared from the public eye. I cared for her, and I abandoned him. I should not have. Maybe, I should never have left Betazed at all. So many things would be different if I had made different choices than those I did." She sighs softly and shakes her head. "But ten years have passed without a word between us. I never knew what happened to him. After the liberation, I thought perhaps he had perished in the occupation. He thought the same of me. He was not even aware I had joined Starfleet. But, now he's here. An archaeologist, using the station as a waypoint between expeditions. So much time has passed... so many changes between us. But, but he is still very much the same Bren he always was. A true romantic at heart, and so gentle and understanding.

"I am not entirely certain what to make of his arrival, but... it is so good to have someone to be close to again. Someone I can trust and talk to about everything. I've missed that so much." Callie smiles again, looking away from the recorder elsewhere in her quarters. "Maybe the Fates have decided I have been unhappy for long enough now. Maybe I have caused myself to suffer enough. I hope so. It is so good to smile again, and to be close to someone. Love? I have always loved him. Beyond that? Time will reveal those answers, and I have plenty of time. He has suffered terribly as well. He fought in the resistance on Betazed, and I can only imagine what he went through during that. But... he's here, and for now, that is all that matters. I will hold him as close as he will allow me, and together, we will heal."

"Personal log, Stardate 52225.2."

"It's been a month since the battle over Betazed, and my heart is finally starting to harden and scar from the emotional wounds that I sustained from that costly battle. It hasn't been easy, to be sure. I've tried not to let my crew see how deeply it has affected me, even though it tears me up every time my thoughts even graze across the subject. Twenty two million souls. That doesn't count the dead from the initial invasion or the toll taken on my people during the occupation, either." He sighs softly and stands up.

"I've tried not to let my crew see how deeply it has affected me, even though it tears me up every time my thoughts even graze across the subject. How can I? I have to be strong for them, and lead by example. They know how I feel, I'm sure, and none have questioned me about it, which means they either think they're tiptoeing across a Jem'Hadar Houdini Minefield or they're just being sensitive to my privacy. I'm hoping it is the latter."

"The Romulans. The Romulans and their damned artifact. Hendricks has asked that we sit on our hands here on the station, and let him try to handle things. There's a new Romulan Ambassador on board, even though I've been avoiding meeting him, I need to. I want to see his eyes when he lies to me about their artifact. Just to see what kind of diplomat he really is. Just to see what kind of Romulan I am dealing with. Bastards."

"Computer, end log."

Commander Balin

"Personal Log, Stardate 52225.7. It is sometime in the wee morning hours. This has been quite the week. My transfer to the Diplomatic corps has been approved, pending my training on the qualifications. As it stands now, I act as an assistant to Lt. Cmdr. Gerok, or whichever senior officer is conducting the diplomatic meetings at the time. I feel like I am back at the Academy. Much of my time is spent pouring over PADDs containing regulations, treaties, rules of diplomatic engagement and so forth. Lt. Cmdr. Gerok approved the transfer, even though I lack these qualifications, something that came as a pleasant surprise. Still, having the First Officer of the station blatently tell me that I am unqualified was not a pleasant experience. Which is why I am awake at this gods-awful hour in the morning, with a cup of stimulant and a PADD on intergalactic trade law in front of me. I do not plan on being unqualified for long.

"I attended my first diplomatic meeting, acting as the assistant to Lt. Edwards. For the most part, I observed and learned. The semantics of the group was rather interesting, from a sociological perspective. The Romulan ambassador seemed to enjoy baiting the Klingons, perhaps testing how far he can push them before they react violently. The Klingons seemed to enjoy flexing their physical prowess, whenever it appeared that the talks were not immediately to their liking. The Ferengi ambassador, for the most part, sat quietly and observed. And it was the Romulan Ambassador that remembered that though the Ferengi have a place in these talks, they have not contributed to the war effort. That is something I find very... curious. I would bet latinum that the Ferengi ships are probably very well armed, to protect their investments from pirates. Though perhaps not quite on par with warships, they could certainly assist more than they are. Still, that is a debate for another time. My biggest concern of the meeting was the Occan president, Vhypist. I believe there will be trouble because of that human. He is obviously unbalanced, showing paranoid and narcissistic tendencies, poor impulse control and an alarming level of 'human superiority' prejudices. Moreover, he has nothing to lose and feels slighted by the proceedings. History tells us, this is a very volitile combination. I requested that a Security detail be assigned to him, however Commander Balin overruled that. I am disappointed by that and hope it is not a decision that we will have reason to regret. As it stands, I think I will pay the president pro-tem a visit and try to assess the situation further.

I am endeavoring to learn more about the cultures of the other species here and to engage the diplomatic teams on an informal basis. I met with the Klingon aide to the Ambassador and we exchanged words and crossed steel. My intention was to find some common ground, with which to build a rapport. I was victorious in the weapons contest, something that seemed to surprise my worthy opponet. However, I learned that if this Klingon finds that a battle cannot be won openly, he will resort to more covert tactics. This goes against the notion of Klingon 'honor' that I'd read they hold so dear. Perhaps that is nothing more than a smokescreen. Or perhaps not. For all the ideals of Andorian honor, there are more than a few that have given it away for some immediate gain. As for the Romulans, Sublieutenant Sukhar has agreed to tutor me in Romulan customs and law, within acceptable limits deemed by his people. They are, by all accounts, canny and cunning opponets and I am eager to get a better understanding of their culture."

Idrani stifles a yawn and takes another sip of her drink. "Well, business aside, this is supposed to be a /personal/ log, so I should devote a few minutes to /personal/ matters. I've started a relationship, sort of. It isn't exclusive, or serious, but it is certainly possible the relationship could proceed that way. There are complications, of course. There's something romantic about overcoming personal obstacles. It's exciting, I must admit, but I keep cautioning myself to keep a cool head. If nothing else, it is pleasant company to enjoy, without strings or commitments. Which is about all I am willing to take on, at this time. I'll just see where this goes.

"Great. Thanks." Eliara stretches and shakes her head, laughing softly at herself. "I'm thanking the computer. What's next? Anyway... I figured I should continue my log of my first few days on the station... wouldn't want to forget any of the details when I look back on these days when I'm old and feeble. So anyway... let's see, where was I? Oh, yes. Yesterday."

"Yesterday I wandered around the mall for a while, learning where everything was and just getting myself acclimated to the station. I ran into Duncan again, in the Training Center. We talked for quite a while... he really is a good guy, if a little incomprehensible at times. I guess dealing with temporal mechanics'll do that to a person, though... That, and training with a Vulcan to learn mental discipline. The man's shielding is incredible... especially for a non-telepath. It's kinda sad, but I'm envious. I wish I could figure out how to perfect *my* mental shields... it'd be nice to be able to completely 'turn off' the everpresent babble of other people's thoughts in the background of my mind. But the only way to do that, for me, is to get away from other people. Maybe someday I can take a leave to Vulcan and see if there's any hope for an emotional Betazoid like myself." She snorts wryly, chuckling and shaking her head slightly before continuing.

"Anyway, getting back to what I wanted to talk about... I'm envious, but... well, in a way, it's kinda nice. It's different, after having been among so many non-Betazoids for so long now, to find someone that I *can't* read... It gives him a... oh, I don't know...a 'mysterious' quality, I guess. There's so much about him that's unexpected... it's refreshing. It's also kinda strange, sometimes... when I find something in common with him. Like the fact that we're both workaholics... though I don't think I'm /quite/ as bad as him..." she furrows her brow slightly. "At least, I hope not..." She shrugs, and continues.

"Another thing we have in common is the fact that we both want to be where we can do the most possible good. We both want to be useful, in our own way... and that's why each of us has the job that we have. It's not our first choice... but it's where we are most useful, and can still enjoy and take pride in our work. At least... I can. I hope he can say the same about his job. He didn't seem to necessarily *dislike* being a DTI agent...he just said it wasn't his first choice. Just like sociology wasn't initially my first choice."

"If I could have my way... I'd help everyone solve all their problems, so everyone around me would be happy. Is that so much to ask? To be surrounded by nothing but joy and pleasure? Hmm. Maybe I should visit Risa someday... but since I can't block others out completely, I suppose that'd be a bit overwhelming... Vulcan first, I guess, then Risa. That'll be my big test to see if I really learned anything. I don't ever want to get so overwhelmed as i was on DS9, before i transferred out of counseling, ever again. That was just too much. One person, or even a few, I can handle. But an entire space station's complement of one personal crisis after another... I just can't do. It got to a point where I couldn't separate my thoughts and feelings from what I was getting from my clients... I was getting too involved. I couldn't distance myself, couldn't be impartial."

Eliara takes a deep breath, unconsciously drawing her legs closer to her body and curling up defensively as she comes to the hard part, the part she doesn't like to talk about. The part she tries to avoid even thinking about. "Especially... after i heard about... what happened on Betazed. My beautiful, beautiful homeworld... gods, I still can't quite wrap my mind around the enormity of it. The /reality/ of it. When I first heard... after having spoken with so many survivors of Bajor's Occupation, and having seen first hand the damage done by the Dominion's good buddies, the Cardassians... for a few days, there... it was almost like I didn't even know /myself/. I had to fight down the urge to say, 'To hell with my duty, I'm taking a runabout and a phaser rifle, I'm gonna go teach those bastards a lesson. If Bajor can be freed, so can Betazed, and I want to be a part of it!' "

She sighs heavily, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin against her knees, her mussed curls falling forward, somewhat obscuring her face as she leans forward slightly. "I don't know quite where those urges came from... it's just not like me at all. I've never been a violent person. But for a few days, there, I was filled with an almost uncontrollable outrage and despair. I've worked through it, now... all that really remains now is profound sadness, and a gnawing fear and worry for my loved ones. I haven't been able to get in touch with /anyone/ from back home. The comms traffic around Betazed has been so hectic since the liberation, it seems pointless to even try if you don't have some sort of high level clearance or something."

Leaning over, Eliara unfolds herself enough to reach down to the floor and retrieve a PADD, thumbing through the file directories on it with slightly pursed lips. "And speaking of high level clearance... I told Duncan about all this yesterday, too. He's really the first one I've spilled the whole thing to. And he... he offered to have some DTI agents from the area check up on my family and friends for me. All I have to do is supply him with names, addresses... any sort of identifying information, and he'll find out for me what's happened to them. For better or for worse... I'll finally have some answers. All I have to do is give him a copy of my relevant address book files."

Eliara smiles softly, a sad smile, but a genuine one as she hugs her PADD to her chest tightly. "I--I just can't expressed how touched I was by his offer. It was the last thing I'd've expected a DTI agent to offer." Another heavy smile, and she shakes her head slowly. "I haven't taken him up on it, yet... I'm still wavering. I want to know... but... well, I don't want to risk getting him in trouble with DTI for assigning agents to check up on something that's out of their 'jurisdiction', so to speak. He insists that he won't get in trouble, unless he violates the temporal prime directive somehow... but still... and then there's also the consideration, 'what if the news I get back... is *bad*?' Do I really want to know? Would I rather just cling onto the small hope that I have right now that everyone is just fine, and I'll get a chance to go back home soon and see them all, since I let myself get so caught up in my career that I haven't taken the time to go back there even once, since I left for the Academy? I've gotten so out of touch... I mistakenly assumed everyone would still always be right there where I left them, and I could go back at any time--later. For

The Ferengi Alliance symbol fades and an image of Lux can be seen sitting at his desk.

"Liquidation Field Report:Liquidator Lux reporting. Interesting and possibly profitable development occurring in the Dulcais system. The most recent Ambasadorial Meeting was loudly interrupted by a Hew-mahn who called himself Vhypist, who claimed to be the acting president of a break off Federation Colony calling itself Occan. Before this gentleman was removed from the meeting he made several comments concerning his party's dislike of the Federation's so-called mongrelization of the races. Perhaps some surgically altered Liquidators could make financial inroads into this Occan and see if they have anything of value that would be worth exploiting.

Zian lies stretched out on her bed, staring at the ceiling with a rather silly grin on her face. "Computer, begin Personal Log, Ensign Eliara Zian, insert stardate, et cetera et cetera." She pauses for the computer to bleep it's acknowledgement, and then begins.

"As my dear friends from Bajor would say... 'Oh Prophets, what a night it's been!' It started off alright, became suddenly horrible, and ended up being absolutely incredible... but I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning. It started off when I went down to the Neutral Zone to socialize with the crew. Yes, yes... I've been doing an awful lot of that lately, but...well, what else am I supposed to do? Gotta make friends somewhere, somehow.

"So anyway... While I was in there, Lt. P'Trell showed up. Long story short, I now have an assignment. Something meaningful to do, to make myself useful around here. I'll spare the details, since this is supposed to be my personal log, not my work log, but suffice it to say that there's some concerns about President Pro-tem Vhypist of Occa, and I'm going to lend a hand to see if I can help figure out what's going on.

"After I spoke with Lt. P'Trell, who incidentally seems a very nice and personable man, I went back to join the crowd at the bar. I wound up at the far corner of the bar, and decided to just lean casually against the wall there, just observing for a bit while I drank my drink. That is, until something on the wall started poking me in the back..." Eliara shakes her head slightly, heaving a deep sigh. "Something I was completely unprepared for, and it caught me off guard. There's... there's a memorial in there. Of the Liberation. I was leaning against a little display case that contained a handful of the dirt upon which millions of my brethren lost their lives.

"To be honest, the next few minutes are a blur... I guess I must have dropped my bottle when I realized what it was, because I've got a nasty cut on the palm of my hand, from trying to pick up the mess I made. All that I recall clearly is that I left soon afterwards, and found myself in the company of a very kind and understanding Betazoid man, Davin Haled. He took me to the holodecks and showed me the program he uses, when he needs to get away from it all....

"It was so incredible. So detailed. So... so /perfect/. It was Betazed, as it used to be... and it was a mountain I've climbed. I've been there before. I've picnicked on that precipice, and marveled at the beauty of the world... just as he has. I just met the man last night, but I swear... I've never felt so close, so... so /connected/ with anyone. We sat there together and watched the sunset... then we fast forwarded and watched the sunrise. We talked together, we laughed together... we cried together. And then... together with the coming of the dawn, there was the promise of what is yet to come."

Eliara's hand snakes out to grab a pillow, hugging it tightly to her. "He didn't even have to touch me... the images and sensations he brought forth with his mind alone were enough to give me goosebumps and shiver in anticipation. He's got such a powerful mind..."

She rolls over onto her stomach, now, her expression thoughtful as she rests her chin atop her hands, unruly black curls framing her face. "I was intrigued by Duncan... hell, I still am, to be perfectly honest with myself. And if he still wants to go for dinner some time, I'll probably still do it. But... well, in light of what happened last night... I doubt anything much will come of it, but friendship. Which is okay. I like having friends.

"But with Davin... maybe I'm overreacting, but I get the feeling that there's potential there for so much more... he can shield from me if he wants to, so there's still that mysterious and unknown quality there... but then, when he opens himself up to me... and in a way that I get the impression he doesn't do with many others... it's just amazing. It's like... no one has ever understood me so completely. And I understand him. Like I said, there was... a connection, there." She quirks a grin. "Or I could be reading entirely too much into the whole situation. I /did/ have a fairly strong drink before I left the 'Zone. I guess we'll just have to see what happens, next time we meet, and see if that sense of connectedness is still present.

Stardate 52234.7

Well. Here it comes. The once a week or however often this thing is personal log. I suppose I'll begin right after my last one.

Ensign Gellan. In short she's seeing someone. Not that it truly mattered but I like knowing where to draw the line. Its so much easier on Betazed where people are always shutting themselves away and you can just get a sense for someone's state of being. I do so hate to pry. Of course I suppose I'm just as guilty of it at times. The joys of a mixed crew I suppose.

On the plus side, I think that is the entirety of my bad news. My proposal to arm the cargo bay duty shifts was approved. With luck the extra edginess that implies will keep unwanteds out of the cargo bays from now on. And additionally, it seems Lt Ghorev and I are getting along after all. Will wonders never cease. On top of it all, I proposed some cross training for the operations personel in damage control and its seems everyone likes the idea. Aside from a slight mixup and not forwarding the report to Lt Poole, I think its only a matter of time before we have some very prepared personnel. Not that I'm looking forward to testing those skills mind you but you get the idea..... You? Okay, I'm talking to the computer now. <sigh>

Now onto a more personal note. Yes, computer, I actually have one this time.

I think its about time I call myself a raving lunatic. Not only am I talking to the computer, I went into the Neutral Zone. On purpose. It was a growth excercise really. Trying to get over that lovely phobia. It was working fairly well until Lt P'Trell thought I needed cheering up. In a bizarre sense his humar isn't unlike mine....some of the time. I do try to keep my jokes a little less dry though. So instead of closing everything, I opted for the focused approach. Didn't work quite as well but so long as he wasn't propositioning me I was fine. That aside, I ran into another Betazoid. That alone I was thankful for. Things started out alright. She was pretty shook up by the memorial...and I can't blame her really. My first reaction was roughly similar. Anyway, I opened up enough to send an offer to get the heck out of the place and go someplace quiet. Just a friendly gesture really and its not like /I/ watned to stick around either. So off we went after a contrived excuse on my part. To the holodeck and a program that I though she'd like. Or at least I would.

Here's where things get bizarre. She actually knew the place. Had been there. Knew the woods and the lake and everything! I mean this place is easily three hundred kilometers from nowhere and yet she grew up in the one tiny little town that was within hiking distance of home. On top of that, she climbs for the same reason I do, loves the out of doors, loves just standing on the top of that rock and watching life, I mean...I /know/ she wasn't reading my mind. I could have pushed her out easily. Its just so....odd. Here I've gone my whole life not really thinking about a relationship. Focusing on my work. Avoiding people. And here, in the middle of a war, along the Romulan neutral zone, with work picking up because some fools don't like each other out there, I find her. Eliara Zian. Social Sciences.

<there's a bit of a pause>

Eliara Zian.... Don't mess this one up Davin.

Computer. End Log.

The common blue background and Starfleet emblem fades out, replaced by the image of Rivers' quarters. Rivers is seated before the viewer at her desk, uniform jacket unzipped showing the gold turtleneck underneath. As the log opens, it's obvious that she is /not/ happy about something. The usual characteristic grin is replaced by an intense frown. Even her voice, normally cheery, is rough with aggravation.

"This has already started out to be a crappy week. But tonight.." She shakes her head. "I got dressed down by Lieutenant Edwards, in front of a junior officer. Why? Because I wasn't happy about being left in the dark over these damn Romulans. I don't need to know every little detail, but it would be nice to know how my department is supposed to be handling things." Her frown deepens. "We have no idea if there's a danger to the station, to the crew..or to my duty officers. If one of them gets hurt because we were uninformed.." She shakes her head and growls softly. "Lack of respect for senior officers my ass. If voicing my concerns for my department is a lack of respect, then so be it. It's my /job/ to be concerned. And he damn well knew it."

Dana stretches out in her chair, pushing her legs out in front of her, attempting to relax. "I held my temper though. At least until he left. Poor Sulok. He must think I'm some raging lunatic wanting to beat up on something now." She shakes her head, lips pulling into a rueful grin. "He's a good officer though. Even if he is a bit stiff around the collar." Falling silent for a few beats, she glances away to some other section of her quarters. "I do need to work off this steam though. And it won't hurt my combat skills to practice some." Another pause. "I wonder if Akeen has time now for those Chaka lessons. All of that got put on hold. A lot of things seem to be on hold." Another frown. "Hmm."

Having removed the hairpins, she sets them aside, raking a hand back through her hair and settling in to lounge in earnest. "I still have more time on my hands than I know what to do with. There aren't enough crazy people on this Station by half, or at least not enough that are seeking or've been remanded to psychological care. Still, a few interesting things have occurred. First, I had the opportunity to negotiate with some Rynkans and Teirians who were intent on blowing each other to smithereens at the trading port Hanibe on the edge of the Neutral Zone. That being the actual stretch of space separating Romulan and Federation territory, not the bar where I seem to be spending a good deal of my time lately. Anyhow, that was tense." She temples her fingers against her lips. "Tense, and exhilarating. I've never considered being a diplomat before, though Counseling seems to lend itself well to that. Anyhow, things seemed to be going well until there was some sort of accident aboard one of the Teirian vessels. Blew out a good section of the hull, and then all hell broke loose." She frowns. "Later, Lt. Evans, who was the ranking officer during that little fiasco, filed a report that implied -he- had engaged the Rynkans and Teirians in negotiations. -Utter- bullshit. -I- did all the talking, and had to convince -him- not to -threaten- them. I was just a little pissed." A sigh, and she rolls her eyes. "Still, I went through the chain of command like a good little Ensign. It's not like I -want- a bunch of glory. I'd just like the record straight. We'll see what comes of that."

She folds her hands across her stomach, and looks up at the ceiling. "In other news, there seems to be some concern going around about the exiled Occan President Pro-temps who's aboard the station. Since he was the former security minister, before his people chased him and the rest of the government off the planet, and he's just not a nice guy, someone's decided he might be a security risk. And hey, he might be. I guess, in my thinking, if everyone who was a xenophobic asshole was considered a security risk we'd be investigating half the station or more. There've been some allegations of mental instability thrown in to add credence to the concerns being raised, but Eliara wasn't able to really give me anything to back that up." She shrugs, and looks off to the side. "Anyhow, I'm apparently supposed to meet with this man, since he'll only deal with humans, on the pretense of getting the record straight about what happened on Occa and since. Eliara's supposed to be present in some fashion, either hidden on disguised, so that she can read his surface thoughts and get a better feel for whether or not he poses a danger to the station. The whole business gives me the heebie jeebies, quite honestly. But the higher ups are apparently okay with all this... At least it's something to do."

She shrugs off her 'off' mood, and quirks a faint grin. "But who needs patients to analyse, when I'm so much a confounding mystery to myself? If I had an ounce of perspective, I'm sure I could write a fascinating book. I have -issues-." The grin turns to a self-deprecating smirk, and she pushes back her hair. "I've made a friend, I think, of the Chief Science Officer, Prythra P'Trell, an Andorian. He's perfectly adorable." She relaxes into a fond smile. "He's just... -clever-. And funny. And -fun-. /Lots/ of fun. I really enjoy his company." Her smile dims, and she looks a bit troubled, rubbing at her eyebrows. "And I'm wondering if I'm not fixating on him as a substitute for Kiir." She shakes her head. "They're nothing alike, really. Kiir had a bit of Prythra's mischief in him, I guess, but he was..." Another shake of her head. "Nothing alike. But still... the first person who turns my head in ages is an Andorian... You have to wonder." She chews at her bottom lip, looking a bit pensive. "I don't think I'm ready for anything serious. But maybe he's not, either. I mean... Two dates. A date and a half, really. It's not like we're picking out curtains. I should relax."

Suddenly recalling something else, she rolls her eyes, and fumes, "And I met the most -odious- and -annoying- person. Darian somebody-or-other, a former mercenary who seems to think he's God's gift to women, and for some reason has decided that I'm worthy of his attentions. I don't know what bothers me more: his hamfisted, smarmy attempts at hitting on me or his uncomfortably awkward attempts at sincerity. Maybe I just need to approach him as a patient, get into Counselor mode. That way I'll manage not to throttle him."

Her eyebrows perk, and then she comments, "And I had the most intruiging conversation with a Romulan today. Sublieutenant Sukhar. A -really- fascinating man. Maybe it's just a Romulan thing. I've never really had the chance to get to know one before. This is the stuff you just don't get in Academy texts, y'know? I mean, who'd have thought Romulans capable of witty banter?"

The UFP logo blips off to Varanya in her Starfleet uniform, sitting on a small bench in the Andorian lodge. The sounds of the lodge are muffled in the background but there's no other person in view but her.

"It's been several standard days since I made an entry. That's likely because I've been working very hard with Ensign Zeel on the computer power reclaimation project. At best so far, we've squeaked out 0.9 from the computer systems. I'm not sure it's worth it, really, since shield strength requires terawatts in the multitudes, and we're saving only a few megawatts here and there.

"My hard work was rewarded, last night," Varanya says, allowing herself to smile. "I got the most relaxing massage from Prythra. It certainly is nice having a P'Trell around the lodge, even if he himself is not a doctor. He just... made me melt. I need to find a way to properly thank him."

She tilts her head to the side, antennae quirking, and then she smiles. "Perhaps, but he seems to be enjoying the company of one Veronica Frank. I'm not sure I would wish to interpose. We'll see what happens. Prythra has confessed his inability to deal with deep-running emotion, and... and I think I'd be bad for him."

Prythra sits at his desk in the Science Officer's Office. "People are wierd. Don't question yourself on this one Prythra old boy, you're a scientist. You'll show up for the argument with reams of data proving that you're right. One of the things that I've truly grown to love about other species is the fact that they have all sorts of public nudity and affection mores and taboos and it therefore, makes their intentions clear. Varanya Ashilav however, is an Andorian so therefore I have no idea what in the ocean's black depths was going on with that massage last night.

hen there's Ver..Counselor Frank. She's pretty, fun and has sustained just the proper amount of brain damage to still be able to carry on an intelligent conversation while simulatneously finding me charming and attractive. Grrr...I've spent much of my adult life carefully being the kind of man that most women are too smart to get seriously involved with. Ambiguous friend or rebound chewtoy, those are roles that I'm comfortable with. Serious commitment scares me to death. Hence I've never gotten married. I can barely cope with strong feelings for one or two people, let alone four.

Stardate 52241.5

<The screen opens to reveal Davin pacing the room in what is definately off-duty attire.>

Wow.... I mean...wow. <He looks at the camera.> Did I say wow? I mean I'm not sure what else to say. It sums it up pretty well I think. Let's define that Wow shall we? I mean wow in itself is supposed to stand for something awe inspiring, earthshattering, undefinable, and otherwise incredibly good right? So yeah. I think I'll say it again. Wow! <He starts laughing. In fact he can't seem to stop himself for some time.> Wooo. Ok. I'm fine. <He chuckles again.> Wow. <He snickers, then holds up his arm for the camera.> Look. Goosebumps even. You see Davin. This is /you/ happy! File this away for later okay because this is one moment you don't want to forget. Not that you will, but you never know. <He takes a seat at the small desk and spins in the chair.> Yes. Eliara is.... wow. <He stares out at nothing as if contemplating that word once more.> Hmm. Anything else worth talking about.... <He looks to the camera again with a big grin.> Nope. And I can't say that I mind. Oh wait. Had a chat with Dr Callie and her beau, some archaeologist named Bren Soderic. Eliara was there too. <He frowns a bit.> That didn't go so well. People can be so irritably helpful sometimes. And of course telling them to back off will only make them try harder. <sigh> But hey, who cares? Not this Betazoid. And you want to know why? <He waggles a finger at the camera.> Wow. That's it. Wow. Computer. End log.

Haven is seated on her couch, a soft bundle of fur in her lap viciously attacking her wiggling fingers. She doesn't look at the recorder; instead she watches the kitten play.

"Life is funny, huh? Just when you think it can't possibly change in such a way that it knocks you on your ass, it does."

"Dad likes to sing this old Terran song, 'love is in the air..' and I've found that tune chasing itself though my head a lot lately. Crazy, I know.. but I can't help it. I trust him completely, which is definitely a -big- deal. He does so much for me and I don't think he even realizes it. He lets me do what I needed to.. Question, explore, and test these emotions that are so new to me. Mostly, he empowers me and -that- is heady as hell!"

Another soon joins the kitten in her lap and they join forces to attack her fingers, batting at them with their paws. She laughs softly as she pushes her fingers into their thick fur. Haven is silent for a long moment then Kutter leaps to the couch and mews softly, calling her young to her. The kittens abandon their play and scurry over her thigh to reach mom and dinner.

"So...Hmm, work is work. Busy, as always, that never seems to change. Just an endless tide of people to remind me how unfitted I am to this job. The only dark cloud on my otherwise bright horizon? Oy, that would be dear Bela.. Not just Bela but Bela and Michael. I'm so very tired of her being hurt but damn it, why should I be the only one to swallow -my- pride? I'm hurtful and I'm a.. what was it she called me? Oh yes.. a bitch and why, because of Michael. All I ever hear is how hardheaded he is and how stubborn he is. Bah! He's also a -Command- Officer and an adult but yet he can not meet me half way for the sake of his wife to be.. for his daughter? What utter crap! I did my -job-, which is what I'm supposed to do, and he made it personal. Well, tough shit. This was -not- personal. This was about Bela and if he can't see that, so be it. It's Bela that's hurt in the long run and -that- is wrong."

Haven sighs and reaches out to pet Kutter, a small smile playing over her lips as she strokes the soft fur.

"I've beaten myself up enough over Michael and his attitude. Bela is my dear friend and that is -not- going to change because Michael can't be an adult."

She looks up and into the camera for the first time and grins impishly.

"Personal log, Eliara Zian. The last few days have been nothing short of... amazing. Incredible. Indescribable. Not only does my professional life look to be picking up again, since Lt. Edwards took away the one assignment I had going for me when he nixed my idea to try and help sort out the situation with the Occan President, but... my personal life is most definitely looking up, as well.

"A while back I mentioned that I'd met Lt. Davin Haled, from Ops... and commented on how there seemed to be a... well, a /connection/ between us, right from the start. We have so much in common, and yet we're both so different... I've never met anyone quite like him.

"If anyone had asked me before I met him whether I believed in love at first sight... I'd've said no. I'd never experienced it. But now... I *know* that spark was there, from the first time I ever met him. He's completely unlike anyone I've ever dated... or ever known. All that I've experienced before this--and I /have/ had my share of lovers--pales in comparison to how I've felt these past few days... whenever I'm with him.

"It's all been so fast... and yet, so totally, undeniably /right/. Like a natural progression. It couldn't have been held back, or checked in any way... this is how it /had/ to happen, and it was /going/ to happen, no matter what. It's like... fate, or something. Another thing I never really believed in, before I met Davin."

Eliara rises gracefully from the floor, moving over to face the wall, pressing her hands against it as she stretches out her calf muscles. "I know it's only been a couple of weeks since I even came aboard the station, so it probably seems silly to say this, or to feel this way about him already, but.... I love him. I really, truly do. More than that, even... He's... he's my imzadi. My soul mate. My other, better half... the one who completes the puzzle. Call it what you will... it's him. I know this, deep down inside. No one else has ever felt so right."

As the emerald green symbol of the Ferengi Alliance derezzes we are left with a tired looking Lux, sitting in his favorite chair in his shirtsleeves petting his gray Terran khi-Tahn behind it's ears as it purrs contentedly on its master's lap. "Ambassador's log," he rattles off the stardate