Ferengi
The Ferengi are an Alpha Quadrant humanoid space-faring species.
The Ferengi Alliance (name of the Ferengi government, overseen by a single
appointed Ferengi with the title "Grand Nagus") is not a member of the
Federation. The homeworld is called Ferenginar.
Ferenginar
Culture
Ferenginar is an M-class planet with a wet climate - so wet that there are
178 different words for "rain" in the Ferengi language. Ferengi culture is
centered around capitalism - in fact, they are considered the 'ultimate
capitalists'. Their culture has flourished for thousands of years under the
guidance of the Grand Nagus and as codified in a book of primary laws called the
Rules of Acquisition. The rules are taught to the children of Ferenginar, and
they are expected to recite them by the time they reach their Attainment
Ceremony. The unabridged Rules of Acquisition come fully annotated with 47
commentaries, 900 major and minor judgments and 10,000 considered opinions. They
were codified by Gint, the first Nagus.
Recently, the Ferengi have undergone a significant societal change, initiated
by Grand Nagus Zek and completed by his successor Rom.
Ferengi society used to be totally patriarchal, with females being treated as
property with no rights at all, at least until the reforms of the most recent
two Grand Naguses. Females could be bought and sold. They rarely left their
homes. They could not own or wear clothing. They served their male owner, and
even pre-chewed the food for her husbands and sons. There are still some
hard-line Ferengi males (and even females), but for the most part, their society
is gradually becoming more liberal in regards to their females.
Few Ferengi marry for love and those who do are considered unfortunate as a
Ferengi male might then lack the willpower to discipline his wife. The Ferengi
wedding ceremony consists of latinum dances and bridal auctions. The female of
course remains unclothed throughout. The ceremony has a simple format and is
considered a business contract. Ferengi males are sexually attracted to
all females, including those of other species, and can often be excessively
overt in their pursuit or courtship of them. A Ferengi's most erogenous zone is
his ears, and having them massaged is called 'oomox'.
In addition to the Rules of Acquisition, Ferengi must follow a rigid business
code called the Ferengi Trade By-Laws, and adherence to these laws are monitored
by a body called the Ferengi Commerce Authority (FCA).
The FCA is like the IRS but its power and remit is greater. The FCA keeps
track of every Ferengi's profits, family, holdings, business and business deals
and properties. Ferengi males require a business license in order to operate:
the business is issued by, and can be revoked by, the FCA. An annual statement
must be submitted to the FCA setting out the profit made during the year,
although often Ferengi deliberately "forget" to declare certain profits. The
FCA's headquarters is in the Tower of Commerce and is the tallest building on
Ferenginar. It has 40 flights of stairs, at the top of which is the Chamber of
Opportunity. The bottom levels incorporates the Sacred Marketplace.
Breaking FCA regulations results in penalties which can be severe. The FCA
sends a registered liquidator to the place of business of the offending Ferengi.
If the liquidator cannot be bribed into overlooking the incident, the liquidator
can close down the business by placing a writ with the Ferengi Alliance's symbol
on the wall along with a statement of the infraction. The business remains
closed until the FCA is satisfied that the chosen punishment has been met. The
penalty for a Ferengi who breaks a contract with another Ferengi is most severe.
Everything he and his family own will be confiscated and sold, and they will be
forced to live on the street as beggars. No Ferengi will talk to the offending
male or do business with him.
A Ferengi's mother is known as his Moogie. Ferengi moogies are cared for in
their old age by charging their children rent for time spent in the womb. The
account is put in escrow with her oldest male relative until the child is old
enough to earn profit and pay her back. Then the male relative puts the latinum
into a high yield account to care for Moogie in her dotage.
Ferengi houses are large and dome-shaped, like an Earth igloo. The entrance
incorporates a low arched passageway with the door at the far end of the
passage. The home's interior is designed to show off the wealth, and thus
status, of its owner. Immediately inside the entrance door towels are kept for
wiping the head clean (as it is always raining on Ferenginar) and a collection
box to collect the admission fee from guests. When entering a Ferengi home the
host says, "Welcome to our home. Place your imprint on the legal waivers, and
deposit your admission fee in the box by the door." Then he places his hands
together at the wrist and says, "Remember, my house is my house." The guest
replies, "As are its contents."
Food and Drink
Ferengi are omnivorous but they are primarily insectivores. Staple Ferengi
food includes tube grubs, preferably pre-chewed (by a Ferengi female), snail
juice, spore pie, razor-toothed gree worms, flaked blood fleas and millipede
juice.
Sports and Games
Ferengi generally do not play sports - but they will gladly make book for any
event they come across, from vole races to Domjot games.
Games, however, are well-loved by Ferengi. Especially games of chance. They
enjoy Tongo, Dabo, and other forms of gambling. Games of skill or strategy are
more apt to be bet on than played, but some do play them.
Religion
Ferengi believe that those who have earned a profit during their lives will,
after death, enter the Divine Treasury. Before they enter they see a gold plaque
outside which asks new arrivals to have their profit-and-loss statement ready
for inspection. Inside, the Celestial Auctioneers of the Blessed Exchequer will
allow them to bid on new lives. But those who have not earned a profit are
doomed to the Vault of Eternal Destitution. The Vault of Eternal Destitution is
sometimes used as an oath.
History
There is not much that is known about the Ferengi's past history. Their
culture has existed for 10,000 years. They boast to never have had wars,
slavery, or other 'barbaric' practices, but this could be an advertising scheme.
Most Ferengi don't care about the past - they prefer to look to the future.
The Battle of Prexnax, between the Ferengi and Lytasians, is the
only military engagement ever made by
the Alliance and is the most important battle in Ferengi History.
A huge financial decline struck Ferenginar during the mid-24th century. This
decline involved rampant inflation and currency devaluation.
Starfleet came into contact with the Ferengi at the Battle of Maxia in 2355
but were not aware of it at the time. Official first contact occurred in 2364 at
Delphi Ardu when USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D and a Ferengi Marauder vessel were
for a time trapped in orbit together by the Portal of the last outpost of the
ancient Tkon Empire. An away team from the Enterprise and three Ferengi
crewmembers met on the planet surface - a far from friendly encounter.
Ferengi Death Ritual
Autopsy of a dead Ferengi is forbidden. To honor the dead, the deceased's
body is cut into small pieces which are vacuum-sealed in small disk-shaped
souvenir containers and then sold. The more noted the deceased during their
life, the more valuable the containers and Ferengi will bid highly for them. A
Ferengi can plan for this before death by placing a number of the disks-to-be on
the Ferengi Futures Exchange. A Ferengi Certificate of Dismemberment accompanies
the souvenir, attesting the identity of the remains.
Rules of Acquisition
The following rules were quoted during Deep Space Nine's run:
1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7. Keep your ears open.
8. Small print leads to large risk.
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10. Greed is eternal.
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
16. A deal is a deal...until a better one comes along.
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21. Never place friendship above profit.
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
28. Whisper your way to success.
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34. War is good for business.
35. Peace is good for business.
40. She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
41. Profit is its own reward.
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
47. Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own.
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
52. Never ask when you can take.
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum, treasure them.
58. There is no substitute for success.
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
60. Keep your lies consistent.
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
76. Every once in a while declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your
enemies.
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your
profits.
94. Females and finances don't mix.
97. Enough...is never enough.
98. Every man has his price.
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
102. Nature decays, latinum last forever.
103. Sleep can interfere with the acquisition of profit.
104. Faith moves mountains...of inventory.
106. There is no honor in poverty.
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
111. Treat people in your debt like family. Exploit them.
112. Never have sex with the boss's sister.
113. Always have sex with the boss.
121. Everything is for sale, including friendship.
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.
141. Only fools pay retail.
144. There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
162. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
177. Know your enemies...but do business with them always.
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
190. Hear all, trust nothing.
192. Never cheat a Klingon...unless you're sure you can get away with it.
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in
your door.
202. The justification of profit is profit.
203. New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms: they can be succulent, but
sometimes they bite back.
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder to success. Don't hesitate to step on
them.
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
217. You can't free a fish from water.
218. Always know what you're buying.
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oomox.
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
236. You can't buy fate.
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
242. More is good...all is better.
255. A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity.
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
266. When in doubt, lie.
284. Deep down everyone's a Ferengi.
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Names
Some example Ferengi names are provided below:
Male names: Brect, Gint, Lux,
Quark, Rom, Pel, Brunt, Gaila
Female Names: Ishka, Trix, Ootha, Lunda,
 
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